Fly

"Now I've travelled across the ocean with the same shoes just longer hair"

-Azure Ray

So tired

I cannot be arsed to upload beautiful pictures of paradise
I cannot be arsed to take a shower
I cannot be arsed to remove makeup but I eventually did cause me skin is dying
I cannot be arsed to go hunt for a job
I cannot be arsed to cook myself proper lunch
I cannot be arsed to lead a proper life now

I miss Melbourne, I miss having 2pm breakfast with Nancy and 9pm dinners with the bunch. That is when I'll have my proper meals and I miss my small little room with pure white walls and itsy bitsy toilet at least it is clean.


I hate my house right now it's so filthy and filled with shits that I cannot be arsed to clean it up cause that ain't my shit.


this shit ain't real. I need to rediscover hui ting. =/

Someone I look up to.

I'm in shock. Because I've been following this blogger/model Daul Kim for the longest time I remembered. She was found dead in her apartment in Paris and was suspected of suicide but why. I've always known there's some deep interpretation within the nonchalant lines but never would I have thought it would end up like this. Someone I feel so related to her life yet I do not know her at all and she's only 20. And this made me think again is life really worthy of living. =/


rest in peace to one of the fiercest model in the history.

It's like being in love

I am sorry for the long absence of pictures and shits but I seriously lost the urge to "blog".


I watched Julie and Julia in the plane last night and I really liked it. FINALLY something all about food. I love food I cannot live without food whether it is an inert need or whatever. I still love it. I can eat even when I'm not hungry or I can eat because I am hungry but the food I take in, MUST be good (or at least to me!) Hence the size wtf.


There is a really strong link to bloggers. But of course that is not true, because you cannot get THAT famous, maybe not all of you (xiaxue is an exception) And I think as a blogger, the more famous one will just get more famous, and the not famous one will just fade into thin air, like me. Fading.


And it's like falling in love, I started out cause I loved it so much that I can write freely with dumb thoughts of mine. Now that I looked back, though it's not a tangible item that I can actually touch or feel it and read from it like a letter that I wrote to myself many years ago, but reading from my oldest entries (please don't go near there) gave me this feeling, as if it is a letter I wrote to the future me. And that I've grown so so much. SO MUCH.

Anyway I was saying it started so strongly I have so much urge to write in it. Give feelings to it, spread the loving.


And then it has its ups and downs and there might be a 3rd person in this relationship (erm I dunno what example to give wtf) and you might just wakeup one day and realise you're really not that in love with it. And that it starts to fade, and slowly, you're actually what you've got.


Because my dreams of getting famous are tarnished already if you didn't already know, YES I have the intention of blogging more to get more attention and become famous and earn lots of money and become better than xiaxue or world famous bloggers like perez hilton. But I think I have bigger dreams in life. YES it might not be anything to do with what my degree offers me now, but there will be a turn in life that I'll change DRASTICALLY, and do things that I'm passionate about (like Julie cooking) and I'll succeed if I want to, I will hold on to it till I succeed, that is if I found that one thing that I truly want to venture for the rest of my life. I think I should join culinary school instead seeing my love for cooking. I cannot see myself writing advertorials about things that I don't even like (seriously? Follow Me?) and spend my entire day talking about my life. Instead I'd rather be the one spending my life instead of talking about my life, don't you find that much more meaningful? Yes I will still update from time to time to share SOME updates of my life, but not all. Some moments are meant to be savored and kept within ourselves, that needn't to be shared with everyone. I prefer something that you can actually keep, and feel. Like memories, I know owning a blog is also the same you can keep it, but after all, there are just coded words embedded in html codes and written using keypads, technology you say? I do want a photo album that keep tracks of my doings and my life, beautiful life, life in the beach under the sun shopping, but digital album is not what I want, photobucket?? How many buckets do I need to store my entire life time's pictures, I think my brain works better, human brains work better if not they wouldn't have created that in the first place. I want to develop pictures and store them in a pretty album. Maybe with rococo damask prints in velvet. Tied up in a grey velvet ribbon, lush.


And you do know that, your blog is intangible right?

*ponders*

Somehow I'm not THAT looking forward to home. Not as much as I thought I'd feel like I would be as excited as the last time.

Self-Image

Because everyone are perceived of having multiple selves that we behave differently in different situations, because we're all consumers and I took this from my consumer behaviour textbook. NARF!


I'm now packing my life into boxes and china LV bag, and store it in this deep dark storage, and take my olive green imaginary trunk (because it's an ugly green luggage, the most ordinary you can ever get) and live my second life. Or was it my first one.

Because only those who've been away from home and have a complete different set of friends would understand this, and the not so good part is this complete different set of people that I'm referring to is in the neighbour country. Which is approximately 100 times smaller, but 100 times safer and people there are 1.00times skinnier (not the decimal point)


this post was actually written two days ago but was postponed till today due to an impromptu to Philip Island wtf the beaches there are amazing, it's like a paradise you've never seen, and the gradient of the sea and the horizon blend together it was freaking awesome. Pictures later.


Right now I'll go recycle some eye bags and shall prepare to concuss in the plane later at 3.40pm. And I guess after several episodes of family guy (more like 10) and few movies later I'll be back.


I felt like I have not learnt anything this semester and I am screwed imo.


It's time to say hello to tropical sunshine for 3 months. :)

I'm a survivor

"Then since now you know it's like that, it's time to do something about it", he said.


I tried my best to do what I think is best for me, I strive I suffered I cried and I tried. Really hard. And I survived.


What makes me feel even stronger is I persevered till the very end. I wrote 30 pages filled of answers till my hands tremble, with only a cup of coffee in the morning and a bottle of peach tea, I completed 2 examinations, though all light headed at the end, as if I'm running till the finishing line of a race, I see the finish line but I'm still there, my pen races me to the finishing line.


And this journey continues again in approximately 4 months. But for now, I shall enjoy a short term freedom, and pack my life away. Emptying this room, memories and a lot of shoes to this place call home, which I have not seen for 4 months, and not knowing what to expect.

And start leading my second life, with the ones I once love, and still is loving, my family (includes maid and dogs wtf) and my friends, and my love yin <3333333333 Who's coming back from San Francisco. <33333333

Songs that kept me going

What I can say is... I'm through with pop and R&B, I'm super into these songs now. They kept me sane and going. And will be going even further. :)

Chill :)

Burnt marks

I think walking to and fro to the library to study and to stay in an airconditioned space has left me some unsightly tanlines. My shoulders are slightly burnt and is slightly red. Should see under a shade with my legs out in the sun to tan!! :D



I'm gonna be chao da in a week's time WOOT!! :D If not I'll just spray on fake tan -_-

Heatwave

When every morning waking up with bright blue skies peeking through my blinds, under the thick polyester duvet, I feel a gust of hot air surrounding me. Not bad aura/heaty kinda air, but literally hot air. When every afternoon lunches are met with 35 degrees sunshine, cloudless skies greet me with a pang of UV ray and dead skin cells that might be lead to cancer. When your fan is turned to the max but all it blows it hot air that could raise five thousand hot air balloons to the sky. Scorching hot sun on your skin, makes carrying a light shoulder bag harder, fifteen minutes walk to the train station felt like 5 hours.

Where a day is not called a day without 5 ice cold showers, where I shiver and turn blue. Dancing in the shower as I try to avoid the call water splashing on my skin, though it felt like heaven when my skin contacts with the cold droplets, but part of me felt torturing, too cold as compared to the previous 40 degree temperature showers where mirrors are covered with steam, wiped off with wet hands and a blurry vision of your reflection.

Winter, was when I wrap myself in a towel and quickly wipe myself dry and put on my pyjamas.
Summer, is when I stay in the shower as long as I could, with cold water running through my hair, like watering plants. Non stop. And the fan turned in my way, drying of every drop of water so quickly, till I could barely feel the cold that was left on my skin, passionfruit flavoured.

A week filled with sunshiney day I longed for the past months, but the tan I longed for was never mine. Slipper tan lines were gone within hours, slippers filled with dried sandy dust, grey and powdery feeling beneath my feet.


Oh where is the spring that I dreamt of?

They were once pretty

fucking acrylics ruined my nails, now it's all short and yellow and ugly. And I think my left fourth and pinky nails are dying, it just keep chipping off, and the white tip (term?) is like keep extending to the inner side, not growing out. =(


can anyone tell me that if my nails will grow back to the same like last time? =(

-

Today I'm allowed to be unhappy. It is my emotions which I control. If I want to hold a tear I would, but if I want to scream for frustration, I am allowed too.

Pants

I'm feeling, jersey/sequin track pants and organza wide legged pants.







And I'll look like a fat blob in them. :)

I need a break. break. break. break. break *echo*

Self Explanatory

my highest buzzpoint went up to 90!! But then stupid staff (sarah and rachel wtf) cannot handle the crowd and drop to 66 booo

and yes there is a Sri Paandi at TTDI wtf

Honey got no booty

someone please tell her to get some extra cheesy double cheese burger. Thank you.

Dail(r)y Diet Intake

Waking up to a flat(ter) tummy makes you feel good. Realising that your tummy can be as flat as a model's flat ass washboard abs when you suck it in till you suffocate makes you feel even better. But a pack of scotch fingers with Magnet & Gemma Hayes Lay Lady Lay makes it so sinful to not resist. A cuppa tea, and scotch fingers. The soft milky chocolate that melts, producing phenethylamine, which is the same chemical that produces when you're in love. An alternative from heartbreaks, not exactly the best alternative but good enough. Have a bar of chocolate today, and get fat. But at least you'll feel like you're falling in love. <3


I'm sabotaging this blog HEEHEE

for everything

fuck you.

jengjengjeng

Exams in 6 days, be right back. I thought it was 7 days until I talked to Kimmy!!! T_T Look on the brighter side, I have one extra day to study for 3 units.


12th - Marketing Research Methods (which I screw one of the major assignment, die dot com and 50% final assessment)
13th - Consumer Behavior (Did well for both assignments and 50% final assessment) AND Performance Measure and Control (screwed first assignment, did well got second assignment but 70% final assessment)


Yes 2 papers in 1 day, and one the day before, can I hear a big FML?

not sure if i'm coming back, apparently I've found a better place. :D