Adapting

New room to get used to.


So much has happened in the past few days. Involves eating 3 Lindor at one go, and crying at night for self confidence issues. (everyone does think that I am THAT confident eh?)

But what do you know, I'm like a Mrs Field's cookie. THe chewy type. Looks all crunchy and delicious outside (Ok I know I am no where near attractive) but inside when you bite it it's soft! And once you're not careful, you left it in the bag and just trash it in your bag, it'll crumble. Handle with care you.

And then I finally registered my internet and I can use the land cable!! (!!!) So happy cause I can use DC<3

And then my admin account for my laptop cannot be registered, it said that the profile cannot be loaded and thanks to Jon who saved it for me. :) And I was freaking out cause what if everything is like, GONE.

I think living in the flats has gotten me more antisocial than my usual antisocial self. Because I live in a proper house away from the public (halls, where everyone lived there) and like I only socialise with my housemates (family loveeee).

So... unpacking was a bitch i tell you. I need to set one day to wash like a lotof my clothes so it'll smell good! :D


Sunset view is laffffffff :) Today's sunset was amazing even though it was like 16 degrees, nothing stopped the sun rays shining down through the clouds.



My first night there was MISERABLE. I borrowed flat sheet from Leon and that is all!! OH I slept on a burger wtf named Ramly -_- Long story, one day I should like make a special post!! SO yeah, no blanket/duvet or pillows. It was MAD cold, and my room's heater is spoil only cold air comes out. =(( I wake up at every 2 hour interval, and freeze to death, I survived the night wearing pantyhose over silk shorts wtf, and I was mad happy when I found a pashmina in my luggage. But it only covered up to my waist wtf damn chat cold T_T

Luckily I have Piggy <3



view I see everyday and said not-working heater. -.-


unpack


more unpacking and packing things I don't wear =p


a view of my wardrobe.:) I can walk into it! :D But mad small -_-

Will take more pictures of the completed unpacked wardrobe. I kinda like it. =D

Fooling your mind

Oh shit I didn't know that Reductil is banned in Australia I just took some leftover from KL and brought over. kuakuakua Means I possess off illegal drugs!!! (!!!!)

Anyway, maybe too much of Sibutramine (only 10mg what and I don't think I'm obese?) so I don't think I'll die of heart attack blablabla since there's only like 2 weeks plus dose left.




Maybe too much of mind fucking let me to thinking maybe my life is like, a conspiracy.


Actually people who are treating me nice are all bad people and they secretly want me to die. I no longer know who to trust, how to make me to trust, or how to make people trust me or who is worthy of my trust. It's just so confusing. And all the insults I got is actually to trigger the mind fucking caused by the medicine and will lead me to suicide so it's indirect murder they won't get charged. omg. I am thinking too much.

And like whenever my mom told me that your parents will forever be your bestfriend, it's somehow right cause my siblings will one day have their family and all, then if I am all alone then that's all I'm left with?

I don't like this feeling of, feeling insecure. =( It's like I have to hide in everything and be someone I am not. Maybe all this while, my entire life has been like that because all I do is hide hide hide and not tell. Cause my parents are not there when I need them, and when they are here, the problem is either solved, forgotten, or just hidden somewhere deep inside I prefer not to mention. Well more of the latter. And at those time who am I to turn to? Who am I to trust who to tell and what to tell and what to keep? And once it's kept, it'll never be forgiven nor forgotten, and then it'll slowly devour me.

And you are wondering why I'm like this.

6th Sense

my 6th sense told me that something bad is going to happen. Which will involve many late night sleeps and self burying in tears.


Seriously when will all this end?



A very happy me with bouncy healthy hair after treatment <3


This is like my new favourite fire cracker. You burn and run, then it'll start to burst out with fire sparklers, like a fountain. Mad pretty. If you have the hologram glasses it'd be EVER better =DD



spoilt wannabe 10 year old, or was it 8 wasting my fire cracker away. =/






lights shine across everywhere, so pretty. No strings attached, free falling, deep thinking. Freedom is what I seek. And then you die from inhaling too much of the smoke from burning of the fire crackers.

I touched and I was burnt, but I never learn. Why? It's like this black hole that sucks you in, then you fall deeper and deeper and deeper and you have no idea where you're falling until one day you reach the end, it'll crush you. bad.

btw, I'm back on Reductil.

Have you seen a diamond?

Clear bright skies, at night. Funny but it's extraordinarily clear tonight, stuck in the traffic jam after a cuppa Freddo's Coconut and Macha gelati. Looking at out the skies. The freeway is always dark, not even bright car high lights are able to shine through. Endless deep thoughts, deep dark secrets hidden in the night. And then they were better things that could shine through these darkness.

the stars.


The night when I flew off, I was caught offguard by sleep, not much of sleep just occasional dozing off and waking up with a sore neck. And with blurred out vision, I saw polka dots of white on navy blue background, like a beautiful canvas. I put on my glasses, I could see the entire milky way in front of my eyes again. It made the sore neck go away, the flowing mucus stopped dripping down. It was just amazing. Stars must be colliding with dust, colliding with other smaller stars to shine brighter, like a race to see who is to shine the brightest.


I have one which I call it the Guardian. Guardian cause I realise wherever I go, it is always the brightest star shining on me, telling me to believe I'm being watched, I'm being loved, I'm being guarded. I feel safe. A sense of security which I have always longed for. And there were just so many stars that there were actually 20 other combination of Orion's belt, I could not find the real one (I'm very interested in seeing the full Orion person/figure outlined by stars cause I'm a saggitarian. Learnt about that when I was in primary 5 if memory did not serve me wrong.


And so I closed my eyes and made wishes. Lots of wishes (my neighbour prolly thought I went to sleep again). Just in case a shooting star passed me by without me noticing. Just in case. It was just a great great great feeling. Even airasia flight (previous time around, it was so badddd but the stars up 35000 feet just made it so much better!!) was pure bliss.

Now that I have a 'garden' I can actually just walk out and lay on the lawn to gaze at them meteors. :)



Ahh, I think it'd be better to private this again. Just for security purposes.

Damn funny

say hi to what i ate

its Sunday i went to church with my parents

then we had family dinner....


MOLA MOLA<3


DOLPHIN ?? ??? WHALE MEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

like...pink whale meat.



i was concerned


but too late i sat down and it was in the menu.



so i asked

"isn't this illegal?"

and they said no its not illegal.



it tasted like ....

beef...

cool....

but....

from next time on.... i wont eat this


its like that last time i ate snake

it tasted good though

but its kind of...wrong.

my mom was like

"DAUL DO U REMEMBER THAT LAST TIME

WHEN U WERE A KID AND WE TOOK YOU TO SENTOSA AND YOU TOOK PHOTOS WITH

PINK DOLPHIN ? THATS COUSIN TO THIS ONE HERE"

These are a few of my favourite things

corals and dusk pink. and floral heart print ring.


peonies and pearls, and diamonds and braids. Pink shimmery shadows with hints of pink glitters. Chloe perfume tied in grosgrains.

These are a few of my favourite things.

jewelry collected from forever new, accessorize, diva, bangkok, macau. bourjois mini eye pigments and majolica majorca gel shadow. All in shimmery pink hues. New favourite perfume Chloe Eau de Parfum, cannot stop smelling myself. Love.

Nanananana shalala

One year ago, daddy said "The wind is so strong it's slowing us down", on the way to Fountain Gate (nearest shopping mall, quite massive in my words) which is 10-15 minutes bus ride away from the train station. We were walking there, hence "slowing us down".

A year later, nothing changed, except the acceptance of the weather being all windy, slowing my pace while walking to Woolies.


It's just a matter of getting used to. :)

BRAKE!!!!

Today I've wasted 2 hours of my life, waiting.


I was suppose to get an exchange for my external harddisk cause the disk died on me and couldn't detect and shit, so I asked for an exchange. Means I won't have one during my stay in Melbourne.


And Wen was waiting for me outside LowYat plaza. I went into the car, I smell fuel. Like it was so strong as if I was in the petrol station. And then after 200metre drive, the car engine just went off. And was stuck there. Thank goodness there was a massive jam so we couldn't move and was wondering how to turn on the hazard lights. And the guards who were directing the traffic pushed our car for us T_T In the small lane between Sg Wang and Low Yat plaza. FML.


And waited and waited then several phone calls later we just waited. T_T And this fucking low life indian boy came up and asked my sister if we needed to check the car, but as dodgy as he looked, Wen just ignored and shook her head. Low life scolded vulgarities and drove off in his stupid motorcycle, expecting us to pay him if he can "fix" our car, which I highly doubt so. More like removing my engine parts and leave with our "reward".


Super bad luck, everytime I smell something weird from the aircon, the car WILL break down. The last time was Satria, after my very bad/only accident I was involved T_T


With so many things to do so many people to meet so many things to pack. I'm mentally and physically exhausted. All these things I'm suppose to do aren't keeping me away from thinking of leaving home. It's just weird, I'll be leaving in less than 24 hours and will haev to dread how to get back to the campus lugging my shit. I need transport service. It's just so hard lugging my fucking bigass luggage from the train station to the campus.


everything is just going not so smoothly I just want to sleep. The packing continues. =(

ERRAND

I have so many things to do ranging from:

Meetup with high school mates for cny gathering/farewell once again
meetup with Kim
meetup with jean possibly for the last time before she comes to melb for visiting wtf
meetup with wen this weekend
solve problems for my external hardisk apparently the disc is faulty? I dunno man need to exchange it T_T
meetups for VR before i leave =(
buy last minute shit. WHAT ELSE DOES ONE NEEDS WHEN LIVING ALONE!? Money wtf, with money you can buy things -_-
help people to buy things -_- EH damn freaking heavy to bring back can I got a lot of luggage weight now isit
pack
pack
pack
run
run
run
lose weight
lose weight
lose weight
lose weight in 2 days
eat
get masks (OMG SO IMPORTANT!!)

How can one do so many things in like 48 hours HOW! Then need to meetup with more people omg T_T Why so busy ar. I think all these things will keep me so busy that by the time I get on the plane I'll be like *phew, wipes of sweat* and start crying T_T

My little heart

This time I'll be leaving home with a heavier heart.

It is true that that place I am leaving to is not where I belong, not where a lot of us belonged. A stepping stone I'd call it, which I will dearly miss it the day I'll leave.

Summer holiday was long, 3 months to be exact. I decided to go back a week before to settle down, unpack my 10 cartons of shit, and just settle down. The last time I went back, it was such a rush, I had to rush for classes after I touch down, in an empty room, not even a towel for me to wash my face. It wasn't pleasant at all. And I may use that one free week to visit the other sister in Sydney or just, sit back and relax the dry air and little yellow flowers on the side of the pavements.


3 months went pass so quickly, and I leave home a little heavier each time (no pun intended cause CNY made me put on so much weight fml) because my heart grows heavier. Not sure why but it has always been hard. Either to settle down in a completely new environment (gonna shift to flats ya'll!) or getting to know new people once again, new courses, new coursemates, new lecturers. Just strangers in short.

Not sure if I'm ready for another round of adventure, either to find new clothes or challenge myself to get an AUD2 dress (the last time I scored an AUD 3.75 dress woot) or to cook new things, try new things and not burning down the house.


Clasp on tight my dear, for this ride might be wild. And then it'll soon be over. :)

All these thingss

Haven't been taking pictures of myself because I got a haircut recently and I'm very insecure about it.

And I have all these random thoughts about dying and reliving my childhood how contradicting. And I have been thinking too much that I am thinking about nothing so I decided to jot it down.

Things like why am I here what would it be when I die and what if I shit, I feel like pooping and going out for breakfast so I took out the tiramisu I made on first day of CNY in hopes of giving it to my loved one but then there is no one to eat them so fml. And then I had half of it for breakfast so I'm all high on RUM now. YUM RUM! :D <-- signs of high-ness. And then I thought of making a new batch of tiramisu for the CNY gathering this friday to celebrate yunxin and shaun's belated 21st birthday just to blow candles for birthday die die must blow out candles every year. And then I realised I soaked the butterfingers a little too much with coffee so next round not too much cause my tiramisu is flooded now. T_T


And then I'm sulking why my angpow money so little what also cannot buy and then I thought of giving yin a key for her 21st present and then I need to start packing a year supply of liquids moisturizers for Melbourne. And a little quarelling yesterday ruined my entire day making me so upset that I want to leave right away and then I had super expensive buy yummer dinner and watched Valentine's Day. I know the happy endings are always kinda corny and fake but somehow the process of it all is very real. Like I prefer movies that are real and related to life rather than fake fairy tales. But I still want to watch Little Mermaid.

And I need to get my skincare like very very soon before I leave if not I dunno what it'll become D: I think I need to go now. Toilet time. My hair looks a bit like this now, minus the face of course and less soft and straigter. I want to STEAMMMMMM my hair with gooey thick rich cream that'll make my hair so smooth nom.

I know right. so short.

Hey Phillip I think you drop some glitter

These are the original colours of the beautiful island. I have no idea why it turned out so good. But it was better in real life. The blue, was too blue that it makes Monday blues look bad, like really bad. Click here for edited but yet awesome pretty pretty pictures.

Lou Fu

May tiger year bring everyone the amount of Health, Happiness, Wealth, Joy, Love, Luck and Miracles the stripes a tiger has on its skin.

This year will be filled with more changes, more happiness and positivity.


I ushered in the new year with a "new"-ish bowl cut and I'm kinda feeling retarded huhu T_T


Change is good and new change means new hope and new chances new opportunity, same thing but conclusion change is good. Change is vital as long as it does not involve hurting people and making you happy. Not everyone will be happy with the change but they must respect changes you made and accept them.

Therefore I shall announce this year's theme is Change wtf, last year was leap of faith. Sorry I predicting future, I shall be fortune teller one day. But yes, you may choose to change to be a more dependent person, or change to be a better person or be more selfish by taking more. Just change. For a better future, better world, for better or worse, for a better you.

For Jing

Ohai as you all know Jing is now in Newcastle, land of the forest, also known as Kota Baru WTF! Anyway For you fern fern, this is some recipe that's good for you, so you'll have proper food! HAHA!



Ingredients:
Minced Lamb/Beef (about half a pack for the big appetite)
Black Pepper to season
Soya sauce to season
Shallots
Brown baby mushrooms
Burger Bun/Breakfast muffins (the ones you eat in Mcd breakfast, not cupcake muffin dummy)
Lettuce (optional for Jing)
Cheese

Instructions:
1. Sprinkle little bit of salt and soya sauce to season the mince, mix well.
2. Roll the mince into patty shape (like in picture). You want it thick and fat! =D
3. Grease the pan with olive oil or butter, plop the patty on the pan, let it grill for about 4 minutes on medium high heat or until brown, then flip to the other side and cook for another 2-3 minutes (medium rare) Then let patty sit on a plate for few minutes.
4. Stir fry shallots and mushrooms till brown.
5. Stack up and NOM!


Super important please buy FRESH mince from the supermarket so ensure succulent juicy burgers, and fresh lamb mince means no weird funky armpit taste wtf!! :D

DAMN this makes me crave for lamb burger already huhu and yes incase you were wondering why I never lost weight during my stay in melbourne it's because I eat these. -_-

D: :D D: :D

I has a sad. I have yet to found my CNY first day outfit and all I have is a pair of floral denim shorts. =( Then wear what on the top!? T_____T

And YEAY finally got my paycheck after, forever.

Going back on the 21st Feb, SO SOON! =(

Have yet to pack =(

Happy things:

Imma BAKE cookaysssss nomnomnom

Imma paint my nails prettay

I NEED a pedicure desperately cause my toes are rotting D:

Favourite emoticon: D: it's like jaw drop when bad things happen haha


chocolates it is. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA And I'm not suppose to take so much sugar cause it's not good for my kidney -_- remember some fecal caused shit like literally WTF!!!! hahahaha


I think the Japanese does the ombre thing better, the angmoh ones just look, dry and messy and looks like bad regrowth! D:


*wipe saliva with hanky* Scruffy ME LOIKE


WINNER! Love the plastic disc RING and his "necklace" is the shit! LOVE!!!! And KONG YOKE YIN that time I gave you my lab goggles now I want it back cause it's the new in thing HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA LOVE!!!!

Un-ps-ed

This is me photo taken by someone else and posted somewhere else so yeah you know I definitely did not photoshop myself.


I need a cleaver, to chop off my arms thanks. Belated birthday present please? HAHA


And my necklace I wanna cry I found one diamond missing and guess where I found it.


MY BELLY BUTTON! Must have dropped and went into my baju and rolled into m bellehhhh hahahaha I was like WTF since when I have belleh ring HAHAHAAHAHA ok syok sendiri.


Just a question, judging at this picture (AND PRETEND U DUN KNOW ME IN REAL LIFE) How tall do you think I am/what size you think I am? =P

I know im size 20 in real life so shut the fuck up wtf.

:)

All is well. All this while I was frightened to death and YEAY I'm certified healthy as a horse again and galloping in the wild.


It's like getting a new life in battle games, or when you play ice-cream factory in Neopets, you're so excited you wanted to do something so I rewarded myself with 3 new OPI nail lacquers (one is Alice in the wonderland limited edition <3) and an overpriced leather jacket <3


Don't worry all this is bought using my own hard earned money, not my dad's. I worked rmbr?


And I ruined my so called diet with a packet of Kinder Bueno (not suppose to eat so much sweet shit huhu cause the bacterias are fecal caused (wtf?) and sweet stuff promotes more bacteria growth (???!!) according to my very cool doctor who wears a bow tie. :D

Alibaba. Colours. Your boyfriend(the tiger head). My boyfriend (the CK model omg orgasm). Caesar Salad with smoked Salmon. Jean. More colours. Mad hatter. My boyfriend the hot model. Chinese New Year deco.

btw madhatter is my favourite new nail colour from the Alice in the Wonderland line from OPI! <33333 I cannot stop talking about it :D