I'll never be the same if we ever meet again

Each time, it leads to a different path. Each time I leave this place, things changes, I change my room twice last semester and each time I had to pack everything together.

This time, when I come back, it will be the same. The same room that I left with. But will I be the same? Will things be the same?

I am unsure, uncertain.


One thing I know things will change back here. People changes, things changes, weather changes, everything is unpredictable.


My brother was talking to me on MSN suspecting that he had chicken pox and linked me to this kids diagnosis site, it was cute. One thing didn't change that, he'll forever be my younger brother, naive, but always younger (and maybe taller). Everytime I go back I see people grow, change. My heart sank a little. And then I bid a goodbye, followed by a "see you 2mw". And there, it IS true that I'm going home for winter break.

Each time I live a familiar place, my heart sank a little, not knowing what will happen (afterall there is still risk embedded in taking flights no?) and as much as I love being home with people I love, I love this place I am now too. With the freedom I want, all the things I can do and enjoy doing.

This feeling of you're so close, but about 12 hours away. The anticipation killed me. I just wanna fast forward time. And then when I started bonding with people, it's like time has been rewind to where it all began. Nothing has changed, like we've just met recently. I call it the 2nd life. Repeating over and over. Like a VCR player, you can playback and rewind and playback or fast forward to the ending.

If only I could rewind it back like the VCR.

This weekly activity

Listening to this chinese ching chong song. It's from the show about the family selling abalone (yes it's TVB haha)

I've posted my reasons here on why I gained weight. Kindly refer to picture below :P


fuckkkkk exams haven't do me any good. =( The stress, the pimples, the food I eat OMGGGGGG the amount of coffee I drink!!!! -_-



I call this the pickup line wtf TOO CHEESY hahahaha why am I so punny :P




Marinara. It was better the last few times I went there. =( Why ar =(


Honey Soy Drummets.


Soft Shell Crab with orange chilli sauce









random moments. love my pearls, camera strap, and my skin after makeup LOL. New Polo shirt and max brenners. And my favourite number, 7. :)

Is it over yet?

I'm tired.

I'm drained.

The patience that I give, not appreciated. The effort that I put in, probably will show later in life, but I'm not satisfied now.

Why are things in life so hard to be satisfied when all you need is just a tiny bit of acknwledgement. Like a father's pat on the head, or just a word of "It's okay".


I'm tired.


Tired of everything. Not just exams, but not sure what is bothering me. I feel as if I'm being stripped naked and people looking at me laughing, I don't know why. This feeling, weird, yet strange and familiar. I feel like an outcast. Cast away from social norms and beliefs, what defines us?


I'm confused. And tired.

But it's over.

Hi baby! :)

Come to momma.

And in Life?

Perceptions, something I learn everytime I see something new. Judgements from people, what people think of this that you me everything everyone. What makes perceptions? What makes them perceive?

And if people perceive that life is short and shouldn't waste time then why are some wasting their lives away and not doing what they want in life? Is that what they want in life? And if life is so short why did god made life when it will die, it will crash, and everything gone in less than one split second?

Is it true? When something is ambiguous and uncertain, we tend to be more cautious about way of things, we don't create our rules, we follow norms that has been set by people, norms that some do not even make sense, but we're just blind followers. And then in life, are we making our own rules?? Living like there's no tomorrow, make happiness out of it, forget the past, live the future, is that true? All we said it but have we truly done it yet? Did we achieve what we want and is that what we've always wanted?

And then sometimes we get inspired, we get thoughts and quotes that inspire us so much, some even tattoo it across their wrists, body parts everywhere to remind themselves of what they want but in the end it's just useless ink embedded under their skin for life and the only thing that they achieve is the thought that they once wanted to achieve. And then someday I will be one of them because I want to try. All things new, to have this needle travelling at about 20km/hour or insert some speed limit based on your own judgement (see judgments again) and have the thought of something so meaningful and get it under your skin.

And then there are the hypocrites, who say something, but do the other thing. Walk the walk but they don't talk the talk. Do they coexist? Are they actually doing the things they said they will do but just that we didn't see it? Or are they pure hypocrites that they need 2 heads, they need to brains to function.

I don't know, life, so wonderful yet dreadful. It can go from one point travelling in Disney where fairytales happen to another point where death, war, politics to losing something. Is it that bad??

And distorted thoughts, where will I go after I die? Will it just be like when I sleep? Will I face demons and satans just cause I'm not Christian but will my beloved guan yin ma rescue me for the things I have sacrificed? I'm uncertain, will I see the light at the end of the tunnel (well metaphorically I think end of my life) Is it a long sleep, but since I'm dead what if it's really like my sleep where I have dreams, will those dreams actually are my life after I die and is there afterall an afterlife?

see I'm so uncertain, I want to know about so many things, things that the past will only make us realise, make us know. Is that true that the history creates reality for us? The reality we came to realise that it happened, it was there, it was true like me getting starstruck when I see Gaga, and when I realise that getting a dreambag is true, and then how it shaped us? 10 decisions that shape or lives, what is that 10 decisions, do my parents make some for me that shaped some part of my life? Is that how you shape one self??

But all I know from here is, this journey that I've been walking all this while, it always begin with a step. But how big this step is? It depends how far you can leap, depends how far you want to get.

No, this is not a suicide note although I am pretty suicidal now seeing that I have to go through another 29 hours till my last paper. 7 Being in bed, and 2.5 hours being the exam itself. 20 hours, ain't that bad eh?? See I'm being optimistic.

I popped the question

Eh babies!! Please clear some stuff for me please please please????? :) They're like super dirt cheap now I just wanna get rid of it my closet is exploding!!!!! :D Click HERE. *love*

Just a random note, I'm going back in about 9 days time and I cannot wait and then my sisters have to rub it in that they're home, reunited SOON Excluding me T_____T

Today is father's day and I'm sure they'll be having some celebration dinner thingy if not some replacement some time soon without me <=( All I can do is look at my miumiu shoes (erm cause it's a "gift" wtf) that can make me feel better T_T I want more. T_T And then Jing posted this picture with the caption "My Happy Candy" wtf I gave her this packet of Mango Fruit Plus that she managed to smuggle over to Newcastle without declaring it haha!!! One of my favourite candies, it taste like Mango puddings you buy from supermarkets (the cheapest kind, and it's a compliment cause they taste the BEST!)

NOM.


Just incase you've forgotten how I look like, my regrowth is now 3 inches long, and it's not that obvious in pictures but it is disgusting. I wanna have ombre hair!!!!!! and pictures were taken during rach's party and I look, I dunno normal??


Seriously I am contemplating to get braces, or more like I WANNA GETTTT!!! Cause every fucking picture just shows my teeth is like, UGLY! =( And can lose weight nommmmm hahahahahahahaa


So I hide my teeth by not smiling T_T why got underline wan T_T



HAHAHAHAHAHAAH I dunno why every picture I was tagged I was munching on something!!!!! I'm a proud erm, party helper okay, I helped made the tiramisu by whipping the egg whites to form stiff peaks and I did two batches *flex muscles* and I'm eating it in the picture wtf. Hard work paid off. :P


fml I'm chat fat now, after reading what my dad did to my sis ie poke her fats wtf, I think I need to like, develop an eating disorder before I go home. =/

follow me on twitter for my very punny jokes :P Too bad if you don't own one cause instant updates are there!!! :D:D:D:D:D

Party time!

I need a break. Seriously 3 exams in 5 days I feel like dying. But not sure how I do it last semester with 3 units in 2 days wtf (but then again I had longer break for the 2 papers so that explains) and I did pretty well! So I guess if I put in more effort I can do this *determined*


I am strong. I am STRONG *flex muscles*

Days like these is too good for studying



Sorry I've been trapped in this room call my room wtf and all I can see is this view =( I wish I was out in the city people watching.


Ah Fat. Aka Chubs aka Chubby wtf I feel like a proud momma wtf for tying a helium balloon onto it resulting in a flying cat with a balloon hanging!! HAHAHHA So fucking funny okay it ran SOOOOOO fast with a balloon tied on it RSPCA please don't arrest me I thought it'd stay there obediently I was so so worried and guilty ok =(


Happy 21st Rachel Lian. :)) Updates later



Bubble Tea keeps people sane. My favourite flavours: Milk Tea with Mixed Jelly. Taro Milk tea and Taro Pudding (OMG AWESOME PLS GO TRY!!!!!). Strawberry Milk tea with Egg Pudding (another OMG MUST TRY haha)

Someone please tell me u see something wrong with the smiley face logo of Happy Cup. The stupid smiley looks like it's pointing middle finger to everyone who stab the fat straw onto its face and suck. :D And tell u "sucker u drink more ur gonna be like me all round and pointing middle finger" T_T

I an hui ting and I'm addicted to coffee. period.



I cannot wait till 6 more days till I can walk into a mall, visit my beloved SAs at miumiu and hopefully get something WTF! I need to reward myself for studying so much.....



Please please please let me get what I want (and need) :))))))))))

I'll be on the next plane home

Home in 10 days.


:)

I am an optimist

I love taxation law I love taxation law I love taxation law.


But when it comes to reality I know I'm shit scared for tomorrow's paper and there is no way the facts/cases/statutes will go into my brain through osmosis cause it's a fucking open book paper! I can do this *chants*

I just hope the lecturer didn't con us about the "exam format" T_T Wish me all the best people, by end of this paper I will be bald and when I go to Yen, I'll just say "I sat for a taxation law paper" and I think she'll just agree and give me a wig wtf

I have never feel so unprepared and yet I've got a good head start of 2 weeks before this paper (or even longer) and I'm still scared shitless T_T (diarrhea wtf keep shitting)


ok bye.

follow me on twitter and see if I've gone bald anot wtf and click here for shopping shopping!! <3

One person

And when I came back into my room, a space of my own, filled with pretty clothes and some little luxuries that I reward myself with, to safe guard my heart from not falling for other things, from not getting hurt again. Then I realised I had no one to turn to. I can't talk to Miu Miu shoes nor Chanel earrings. And everytime that thought hits, I am fully aware that I am alone. And this abyss of great fear and loneliness hit me back like a bitch. Empty. Hollow. Not even the best of Scotch Fingers or Belgian waffles could fill.

These wonders that come after the rain

RAINBOWS!!!! Nothing is happier than seeing rainbows right smack in front of your window after a miserable heavy rain. Cold and windy, but shivering thighs were all worth it for a few happy shots.

And nothing beats ***TWO*** rainbows in the skies. :) Not sure why, maybe Melbourne is a more blessed place god likes to spend a little more time on (N'Sync song wtf)! :P

I tried looking for the end of the rainbow but fail because the uni building was blocking =( And the other end was blocked by a forest FML.















Look close enough you'll see the second rainbow above the prominent one. Pretty.


And I came up with this "quote" wtf. It's call rainbow because first comes rain then comes the bow (cause of the shape of how it bends and bows are pretty no? The latter is just an implied definition of rainbows being pretty *love*)

=D

Click here for some Aussie stuff that I don't wear anymore which you might find it LOVELY! :)


And follow me on twitter. :)

Armeowni

I am not sure if ur aware of my recent crazy obsession with cats, but I used to have 5 cats roaming around my flats and then 3 was caught (may you rest in peace fei zai, emo and no name amen wtf) and there were 2 left. One was named Chubs (short for chubby wtf which is the new fei zai) and one is unnamed so I name it Tiger cause it has, well prints like a leopard and I didn't wanna name it Leopard/Leo/Puma wtf so Tiger! :D hahahaha


Not sure if you can see but here's embed video my housemate took of my the cats hunting a bird T_T They eat bird now lor bloody cats later really become tiger fml T_T

Glass slippers

OK I LIED!!! The picture I posted on the Miumiu wasn't mine!!!!


Are you hating me now hahahahha


Cause I was lazy to take my own picture and so I randomly found one on tumblr and posted it heee

All happened with a call from my mom who crazily went to KLCC for miumiu's sale at 12.24 noon Australian time (meaning that siao zhabo went at 10am and bought stuff at 10.24, Malaysian time, impulsive much?) and she was bouncing in her phone call saying she got this and this and this and was so excited and asked me which pair do I like and in the end she asked me to get one for myself *love*

Here;s my version of unwrapping. Unwrapping is ALWAYS the best part. :)

Nothing feels better than that incredible paper/fabric blend material of the bag and the box!! And tied with grosgrains that's love. :) And the irony of my paper bag next to the printed miumiu sparrow clogs -_-

Pardon the half picture of the shoe cause my feet is in a BAD state. I went to see a doctor and hallelujah that a more experienced doctor was seeing me and then at first glance she said it's bacteria infection. -_- And it's not ringworm -_- Wrong diagnosis by the previous doc 2 weeks ago means my leg was actually recovering by itself and wasn't cause of the medicine. -_- And then I was prescribed with some antibiotics which smelled like a puke and hair dye concoction. And I think it helped a little I think the swelling has gone down a little. We'll see after 5 days if the dose of puke and ammonia will help.

That's all.

And follow me on TWEETA! :)
ps: To that 20 something new followers since yesterday you followed just to see what I bought right hate you!

Melbourne crazy weather: 1, Me: 0

As fucked up as the weather I am kinda fucked up too. Period makes people cranky and moody and I feel like dying with the stupid lump on my calves!!! GRRRRRR

And then it's raining today, and the laptop stand is wobbly. -_- Can it get any worse??


Yesterday I wokeup with an aching leg, can't really stand and walk properly cause I can't straighten my legs, and then I had to go to work, which requires me to balance the shit on the wet floors and walk around and stand for 4 hours. -_- Oh not to mention walking from the station to the mall cause there were no buses running at that hour! :D

Then some drama happened in the stall for not serving authentic tomyum. I wanted to barge in and say "This is Australia, how authentic can the food get" but then the man was kinda raging so I kept quiet.

Then I was suppose to get some groceries on the way back from work and lugging so many things at one go and it was raining. I think there were some hail stones on the ground so was "lucky enough" to not met with the hail storm but raining and I had to walk from the station to my house so...

So I took another bus that will take about 30 minutes but I can skip about 5 minutes of the journey. And I was soaked by the time I got back I felt like dying. Took a shower, had churros with cinnamon sugar but when I opened one of the cupboard for god knows what reason my pasta all fell onto the floor. And then I feel like dying.

I just threw away all the pasta and I just wanted to scream.


Exams in 1.5 weeks. I NEED TO FINISHHH STUDYING SOON fml T_T

And solehhhh need to study first before I can take pictures of my new shoes =p

Hint: It's glittery and it has jewels. <3

End of Financial Year :)

Teaser. :)

Follow me on Twitter nao!! Those who're following me would have already know what I got :P

Can't smile cause it's over

Remember I told you bout the skin infection thingy call ringworm on my feet?? I was so happy it's finally fading and the scars and marks are almost gone then last night my left calve was really itchy I thought to myself "fuck".

Then this morning I woke up from a really bad nightmare of my house having ghosts who act like they're still alive and came to talk to us. Not one but 5 in each of our rooms, which actually have 2 beds and tables meant for 2 people T_T Fucking scary right.


Then I wokeup with a slightly sore leg, and HOMAIGAD there's a huge 3inch wide in diameter swell (or whatever u call it the object of the term swollen sorry england no good when panic) And it's painful when I stand up. =( I applied few layers of the cream prescribed and i'll see how it goes. =( Not looking forward to work in this condition.

Maybe it's karma for buying pretty shoes, but why? =(

I'm on a sugar high high high

I think I'm slowly getting diabetes, or already got it looking at the rate I'm drinking coffee with whipped cream and caramel and cinnamon and muesli bars with honey sugar chocolate chips.


I think *touchwood* by 30 I'll have no legs and dead.


*choi*


Tastes different from Uncle Toby's, but every single chunk of this shit is just mmmmm ORGASMIC I tell you. Every bite sends me to hell cause it's so sinful.


I call it Queen-Bee bar. It's like, energy bar, with the queen-bee in it. No pun intended wtf cause got honey haha

When it comes to cooking I don't use measuring cups whatsoever (unless it's a proper cake but usually I just add till I think it's the right concentration or I think it's enough.)

So yeah I cook with estimation, when everything goes according to measurements, are you like gonna come up with a contingency plan to solve it if anything goes haywire? -_- Sorry marketing makes me sick. T_T


Anyway ingredients:

Uncle Toby's oats (the raw, uncooked, flavourless ones ar not the muesli bar melted wtf)
Coco Pops (decided to use coco pops cause I like the rice krispies crunchiness in my bars and cause I didn't like Cocopops so decided to add into it cause I'm cheapskate I refuse to buy rice krispies)
a bit of butter, but half cm thick from a cube of butter.
honey
brown sugar

If possible lay off the brown sugar cause my first batch was TOO SWEET. Cause I added too much brown sugar. Just melt butter and add honey and a teeny bit of sugar (melt in a pot on top of the stove or microwave if you're lazy).

Remember to cook the oats too!! What I did it I put it into a tray and shove it into the oven just mix it occasionally and cook till golden brown. OR you can pour into a pot/pan/wok and cook it on the stove, stir for even golden brown.


MIX!!!! Then shape in a tin/pan/container and let cool.



ANOTHER ALTERNATIVE omg this is so good. I used chopped apples but it was too moist, so if possible dry your apples (I dunno how just google it you should get something out of it) and add cinnamon into your honey concoction, then mix the FINELY chopped apples, oats, rice krispies (my case I used coco pops again, trying to finish them la ish) and MIXXXXXX :D


It is SO GOOD!!!!! Again I used estimation, I'm a strong cinnamon fan so I added like, easily 2 tablespoons wtf. Ground cinnamon powder k not the cinnamon sticks. :)

Then you get apple cinnamon muesli bar (sorry should be breakfast bar cause there's no muesli in it hhaahhaah)


NOM

**********


I feel like this candle now, so weak. Burning dimly in the dark, going off anytime soon.


But then such is life, you'll need to trim the wick sometimes to get it burning stronger. But then not too hard, cause when the wick is too long it'll smoke and eventually you'll need to blow it off (so the smoke alarm won't go off wtf)


Moral of the story is, keep it simple, trim the wick when necessary.

Whatever that implies in your life, however you want to interpret it. Life, is like a burning candle.