Start of emo rant
Something is wrong with me... I've never felt like this before... Maybe it's the medicine overdose??
Why am I feeling so... Out of control?? Why am I feeling so not myself? I can't stop thinking about something sad, and I lost my game...
Fine, this came into my mind a few days ago while I'm shitting.
facts you should know about me:
1. I am a coward
2. I am a failure
3. I think I can drink better than my sisters. Cause I have more fats for the alcohol to burn.
4. I thought people can see through me naked when I was younger
5. I really want a tattoo on my ankle cause it looks good
6. I kinda smell my fart cause it's kinda addictive
7. I tend to try new makeup or colour combination for eyes when I'm free or trying to runaway from studying
8. I don't bite my nails, but sometimes I like to bite the skin next to my nails
9. I tried biting my toe nails once, it tasted so bad and it bled cause I accidentally bit it too deep
10. I have a very LOW self-esteem
11. I don't like people talking about weight issues in front of me.
12. I tend to keep quiet when people are talking about weight issues. Why? Please refer to 11
13. Don;t judge how I dress as your fashion sense ain't that good either
14. You think you're a shopaholic? Then what am I??
15. Don't boast about something I already have and better than yours
16. I don't enjoy listening to others' boyfriends/girlfriends. I'm so not interested
17. I liked someone from another class before but I refuse to admit it
18. I hate raisins but I eat it for fun
19. I don't know why people are self abusing themselves
20. I'll never purposely cut or hurt myself cause I think it's a stupid thing to do so as, you're just wasting time and money(to buy plaster or go hospital)
21. I use a tweezer to pull blackhead seeds out
22. I use the same tweezer for my eyebrows and my underarm. But I wiped it before I use it
23. I eat my nose boo-boo when I was young
24. I considered getting a nose job
25. Don't ever say you're fat in front of me when you're thinner than me or you'll get punched by me
26. I love Chinese songs
27. My MSN private messages are actually hinting to someone, but not anymore
28. I dyed my hair myself once and it turned out not bad cause it shows no differences
29. I tried to be a better blogger but somehow I failed to do so.
30. I'm kinda desperate for more readers but I don't have much
31. I hate the one who once feed me through her placenta
32. I have no idea why guys like fair skinned girls
33. I don't get why guys like act cute girls. Don't lie la...
34. I scratch my ass when it's itchy
35. I have non authentic branded goods(don't arrest me please)
36. I gave up finding a bf as I already have BFFs
37. I think Paris Hilton's boobs are tiny
38. I used to think my boobs are small and humble but I think they're too big for me
39. I waste 10 minutes of my life daily taking bath
40. I don't get why people spend an hour bathing, got a lot time to waste is it?
41. I blogged since 2005 April
42. I don't like being tall cause I can't wear heels. Even if I wear heels, I'll look like a fucking giant
43. I don't like the way people looking at me, it makes me feel so awkward.
44. I wanna runaway from home but I have no where to go
45. I pick pimple cause I hate them
46. I longed for flawless skin
47. I longed for flat tummy
48. I'm afraid to scratch my foot sole as it's very ticklish
49. I no longer have time to watch TV till long holidays
50. I try to smile a lot because I don't want people around me thinking I'm unhappy
51. I try to study hard but nothing seems to help
52. I know I'm not stupid.
53. I know no one is stupid tooo
54. I'm afraid to grow up
55. I'm afraid that I will die one day and I won't know where will I go
56. I'm afraid that my house will collapse one day because the furnitures are too heavy
57. Whenever I have that feeling as stated at 56, I'll go sleep.\
58. I blog for the sake of writing down unhappy things like this
59. I blog to show off the posh places I've been to
60. I blog also because I wanna be famous
61. I saw Hannah Tan today at 1 Utama and she's very short and petite
62. I hate hot chicks cause they make me look ugly
63. I thought to myself perhaps I was created by God to make people around me beautiful
64. I cry in movies when there's pets stories or old people's sad stories
65. I cry in front of people only when I really can't bear the pain
66. I usually cry under the blanket
67. I don't cry under the blanket nowadays cause I was too tired to do so
68. My online activity is blog reading
69. I play Neopets and still enjoying it
70. I used to dream of dating LeeHom or Takeshi but not anymore cause I know I'm thinking too much
71. I am still a virgin and think will still be one in another 10 years?
72. I think it's ok to have sex before marriage
73. I think it's ok to not wear a bra out but please take care of your tits so they won't get molested
74. I'm quite happy cause I'm not the only one who have breakouts after graduating Primary 6
75. I feel so happy finding back some of my old friends in Puay Chai
76. Number 7 is my lucky number cause it's lucky number 7
77. I need to think of another 77 more facts about me
Nuff' said?
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2 comments:
You're not alone you know, we have quite a bit in common.
Your #2, 10, 11, 12, 20, 25 (your sister's always violating this one, but I can never punch her, coz I adore her too much, lol), 32, 33, 43, 44, 46, 47, 62, 71; I feel the same.
Oh and special mention about #42.
Any time you feel like you look like a giant, think of ME, and the horrors I face every single day as a walking CIRCUS FREAKSHOW.
Imagine MY life, the way I stick out like a freaking neon sore thumb in pictures next to all my friends, or how I've never gotten to dance at a prom with a guy where I get to look UP into his eyes (even if its just a friend). Or how I LITERALLY CANNOT WEAR HEELS AT ALL because my head might get chopped off by a fan.
You're tall, you're fine, I'm ABNORMALLY TALL, so don't take it so badly. People actually STARE at me like I belong in a glass cage at a zoo... Everywhere I go, I attract stares and whispers.
Seriously, you don't know what it's like to be labelled and defined by the ONE thing you hate about yourself above everything else, something I have no control of. Screw the fact that I'm "memorable", the first thing anyone and everyone notices about me is my height, not about anything that I am. I'd rather be remembered as "hated bitch" than "tall" because at least hated bitch is something I can control, something I was responsible for, not just some unfortunate set of genes I was dealt.
Bhavani: I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I have always believed that acceptance is very important.
Many people would love to have your height, no matter how much you lament that you're too tall or that you stick out like a sore thumb. The truth is, long legs ARE a plus point in many men's books, so you just have more of it!
You yourself said you can't control your height, so why be sore and bitter over it? Won't it be easier to just accept that you're taller, mind you, taller, not abnormally tall, and work your height to your advantage.
Yes, you might not be able to wear heels, but who says you can't look good in flats? ANd what makes you so sure that the people are looking at you and whispering about you behind your back? Is it paranoia?
As long as you think that you being tall makes you a freak, people would most likely think so too. As long as you hate you height, and as long as you see it as a flaw, people would follow suit.
Just my 2 cents worth. Lack of self-acceptance is never attractive.
PS: Being a hated bitch IS worse than being tall.
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