Times like these

He's the one... Who created me, given me XX chromosomes in me... making me a female... And now, mustardqueen as her nickname wtf!!



Sometimes I wish we could be closer...



Maybe we can joke about stupid things or say a bad word out from my mouth without him feeling why is his daughter such a vulgar bitch..


My father...



Someone whom I've knew for my entire life, yet I don't understand...


I never dare to speak to him of what I want, and what I need... never...



All I do is just give him a response of ok... orh... i will....



Like mmm, ahh, orh... in I Not Stupid Too... T___T





I never ever DARE to give an opinion or decide something I wanna do in my entire life...


Only when he's in good mood, or he brought up the topic... Then I'll start bit by bit, expressing interest, and finally he get the hint that I really need something...



First, my handphone. He just asked me to walk with him to the carpark, he just asked me what is so good about the Lámour 7390... And why?? I told him firstly it has functions and it's pretty nevertheless... I want a pretty phone. but I ended up with a Sony Ericsson K 800i instead as the functions are just better...



Then, it was the PSP... Though I have to share with the brother, cause he kinda got it.. He got 3 As for his UPSR trials and he got that... He brought up the idea of getting, and all of us just participated in the good of owning this cute pretty PSP, and it's now in the family... We just have to add more oil into the fire when he's got the interest in getting this thing or whatever gadget...



Now, the DSLR he wanted to get... He just came up with the idea that since I love artsy fartsy stuffs, why not let me try out photography instead... it is indeed something I would love to do... Ever since I started blogging, I'd always LOVE to take beautiful pictures to be seen and commented so I can improve... And yeah... Knowing him, it'll soon be mine...





yes... I, as the daughter I can feel the love from my dad...



I've always been afraid of him, and never ever dare to merajuk in front of him like how my sisters did...



I broke my lips when i was 3 years old, and I did not drop a tear when he was examining my wound... My lower lips practically split into 2 parts and thank god the scar is about 1cm long now... I never dare to show any expression...


And there was once, I lost my camera during my student exchange week to Singapore... it IS something I will never forget in my life... I was actually that afraid of my dad, I intend to lend SGD 100 from my friends to buy back a same camera... I was that paranoid that I might get spanked with his leather belt...

I remembered mommy told me that he was really sad when he saw me crying when he was lecturing me on the lost camera... He was really glad that I wasn't the one not coming back...





And I know, for everything that he's done, from being overprotective to the cold daddy he's always been...



it's for us...



And I hope this time... My cold kind daddy would let me go to a Singapore trip with my darling... yeah yeah yeah... Hopefully I can actually celebrate my birthday there too... T___T



I seriously do, get very jealous, whenever my friends talked about their father... I hardly speak for him for more than 10 minutes or even 5 minutes... Except occasional lectures...


I get sour when I heard Erv slept on her daddy's tummy talking about school and all... I get really sour when I heard this friend's dad joked with her...



It's such a fun thing to do....



But I've never really experienced that...


And I will feel really awkward if he suddenly treat us or me very warmly... Cause I was brought up like this, and it's kind of a bit too late to get use to a new situation yeah???





But he'll always be the one I always respect and love...



My father.. :)




Note: I know it's not Father's Day and you'll start asking why on earth is this coming out during Christmas season wtf!! But yeah you should be getting the most important part of this whole post.. I want my dad to let free a bit so I can actually go travel!! Just at least for once!!!! With friends!!!