The 8th deadliest sin

Update: thanks for cheering me up people..... :)))))) That's why me love you loooooooong time. =D



If there is the 8th deadliest sin in the world. It should be Sorrow.


If I should DIE if I have lust, greed, wrath, sloth, pride, gluttony and envy. Then I should die to due to sadness and disappointment.


I know I shouldn't be doing this on a birthday.... It is Manny the Elder's 23rd birthday, good lord (synonym to Ya Allah) did you see ther 13 year old picture???? My brother was so cute then... T_T



Stress has finally taken its toll on me and I can no longer handle it anymore... I broke down just now...


Why?



Because out of no where, I was accused of taking the magazines and put it everywhere and stack it on top of my piano, and everything dropped behind the piano, and SHE with her despicable imagination thought I have a superpower of elasticity to stretchy my arms 1 metres long to pick up the magazines... I have to do it, because I don't want no sisters to get the blame, one to handle it is better than more people taking the blame... And I don't want to get fucked up by her on my sister's birthday.


I moved the wine cartons with 12 bottles of wine, I moved the dusty puzzle she got for her present and is now collecting dust bunnies like some ancient mummy, dust and dust and dust and found a dead roach somewhere around... I have to stretch my hands to the back of the piano to pick up, not gold not diamonds. But old magazines.


My hands were red obviously because I don't have no twigs for hands... I have pain receptors and I feel pain. The wood of the piano scratched my arms... No scabs or wounds. But pain... Not anywhere but in my heart.



I dragged my feet up to my room, tears will blurring up my vision. I went into the room and tears begin to pour...


I know this is such a small matter to cry all over it's not as if my dog died or something, but I cry because I no longer recognize this person. Stress was forcing the tears down as well.


I gasp for air so badly, I sobbed like a bitch and it is one of the longest cries I ever had.



I cannot WAIT till she bomb when she sees my room because that is the time I'm gonna bomb as well... I don't care if I look like shit or anything....


But I just hope my dad won't be in, because I don't want him to feel sad. He's already having a hard time at work day and night and he has nothing to do with this.



At times like this I feel like getting a scissors and slit my wrist like a fucking emo person or just starve myself...



Be it depression or whatever, I can't stand it.



I don't know how this year's mother's day will be. And I am not sure how far can I go anymore.


I'm having a hard time coping whatever I have to do in uni, not only I did not receive any support or love, she doesn't know what units I'm taking nor what days I attend classes because she is fucking not in EVERY single day. And all i get is scream and shouts...



If you ask me why this house is so messy and doesn't look like a house?


Because there's no love in here, and I don't see there is a need why I have to keep it "loved".


I give too much without taking. I tried to love you but all I get is your shits... Thank you very much. If you are to throw whatever left on the floor, throw me out too. I don't think I wanna stay here...


And this is partly the reason I cannot WAIT to leave this place knowing many people will miss me. Try living in here one day you'd rather die. And because of this I will study hard so I can fly off next year!!!


You heard my rants, it's ok if you don't understand but thank you all for your support no matter what.






Last but not least, Happy Birthday HOT Hui Wen. <3 style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSlDOJQoUpUXN4Lo_8wk9e0QJGKVcfdKIqQSX4iMo2GsWPeYJbGOShV8bVpOyqRFagfzIKbHbOh1OIipUukQ9gcIZVRKHhRZHGjz_jfJBV0nEgqIDYCenc7VftSJhxA69B3qntDg/s400/IMG_7110.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5192426135382870882" border="0">
yalah you cannot see the face you can see the bag ma wtf


me love you long time.... <3<3<3 :D:D:D:D:D