Another of my rant post about me struggling with weight.
Thing is... I haven't stepped on a scale for about 1 month plus and instead I take measurements instead!! It all happened when my sister got engaged and I made a promise to myself that I'll really get into serious business so I'll look good in a bridesmaid's dress. And due to unforeseen circumstances, well, the wedding date will be at a later date. But I've gotten myself into this "pact" that I promised my instructor I'll be fitter (and hopefully with abs) in 3 months time. And also on the faithful day of my brother's birthday, I devoured 5 cupcakes at one go, followed by another 3 the next day, and 2 cupcakes for breakfast, I NEED to do something.
I've gotten comments from gym buddies that I've lost weight/seem smaller since about a year ago. Truth is, the weight remains. MAYBE I do seem smaller but I don't feel so cause my clothes ain't any bigger whatsoever.
I'm forever frustrated with the things I do and I feel no matter what I do is not enough for me to get abs or drop sizes. So I took up this burpees challenge, which is to start at 50 and slowly build up to 250 burpees in a month's time. In the midst of it but I've been slacking!!!!!! Burpees are so goddamn fucking hard and my highest record is 7 minutes AMRAP 99 burpees. Feeling extremely badass after that!! But it did take a toll on my lower back, after all I'm not feather lite and doing 99 burpees in such short time will result in less proper form, aka sore back (might have injured a little too who knows!)
And then there was this faithful day I signed up for the KL Marathon (which is now postponed to 29 September btw) so I started running a lot! In June itself, I ran a total of 35km (average 4km per run). And I heard from people that to drop size is to do more cardio. So running on treadmill before Body Combat, and I up from 3 classes to 4 Body Combat classes a week. With weight sessions before cardio.
With all these crazy things going on, I really don't know what will happen to me or I will drop dead one day cause my muscles are all so fucked up. We shall see. But I do take measurements and as of 25 June, 16 days into this crazy routine, I lost 1.5 inches off my waist!!!!! (actually my aim is to get abs, just so I can wear a sports bra to classes and make myself PROUD!) have yet to step on the scale and I have been eating rather clean with a cheat meal each week. Still researching on how to go gluten free with substitutes etc, I try to cut down on simple carbs like rice and noodles. I try to incorporate more complex carbs like SWEET POTATO (i love that shit) and pumpkin. Bought heaps of buckwheat, millet, to make gluten free flour so I can make GF pancakes!! Slowly moving into Paleo and cutting them processed crap. :) Small changes!! And because of all these substitutes that I've found I can now indulge a little without feeling much guilt!!! All natural ingredients but packed with flavours, what not to love!?
I've also shamelessly posted a progress picture on my twitter and got some positive feedback. Thank you all. I know I am no where near where I want to be, but looking at how far I've came, from knowing nothing about eating clean and lifting and cardio etc to now knowing a little bit more. And from my first body pump class squatting a mere 5kg barbell to now 50kg barbell (my highest was 75 but was too heavy for proper form so I stopped doing too heavy weights).
Was chatting to a friend about reasons we workout. Superficially speaking we just want to LOOK GOOD!!! As long as we look good we will feel good isn't it? Maybe in my case I'm working towards creating a best version of myself. There will be sweat and the occasional tears (not yet, phew) and the journey is going to be very very tough, but I know it will be worth it when results are showing!!! Noticed my little biceps are slowly showing when I do overhead presses and it only motivates me to lift more just so I can see them muscles grow. :3 I want to be able to do pushups on my toes and deadlift my body weight! I want to have abs so I can proudly show my hard earned abs!!
*fistbump* actually my ultimate goal is still to wear a bikini at the beach during my Mount Kinabalu trip (gonna be conquering that legendary mountain yo!!! so excited :D ) and flaunt my abs at le gym. I CAN DO THIS!!!!! Positive thoughts all the way.
note: this is a friendly reminder for myself to NOT give up and I CAN DO THIS. I am strong, I am determined, I am stronger than I think I am, I can run faster and longer than I think I can. I can do this!!!!