I’m sorry because I know what it’s like to feel deeply for someone who
feels lightly for you. I understand the unrelenting stirring in your
stomach when you see them. The deceiving optimism when you think “maybe
this time they’ll realize they want me too,” then feeling so foolish
when it ends up being just like every other time. To think that maybe
minor changes will win their affection. I’ll wear my hair this way. I'll wear that dress that you said I looked nice in. To wear your favourite colour. To obsess over your
shortcomings. To want to change yourself at all for someone because you
think having them push your hair back and kiss your neck is worth it. I
know what it’s like to think about a person when you’re alone in your
bed knowing that if you could have anything it would be their company
and to fill the emptiness in the space next to you. To go to a place
you’ve never been with them before but it reminds you of them anyway
because you feel happy there. To go through scenarios in your head where
everything goes right, where you say all the right things and you can
feel them loving you back and the heavy sting when reality seems so far
from that place. To think about the people they have loved and wonder
why somebody else deserves something you want so badly. I know what it’s
like to try to feel this way for anyone else. To kiss somebody with the
nicest smile but at the end of it it’s not the one you want. You want
the cynical one. I know exactly how it feels to ache. To feel deprived.
To feel stupid. To know they never think about you when you can’t seem
to stop picturing their face. I know what it’s like to think being in
love is the fucking worst. To hope for nonchalance. To wish you could
feel lightly. But it is not in our nature. I know how it feels like to have all your hopes up when they show signs of care and then all of a sudden they seemed so distant. And then all you have is that tiny strand of hope that maybe, they see you not just as a friend, but someone. Just maybe.
*excerpts from LeLoveImage. Some bits by me.
2 comments:
omg..of what i feel right now..
of how i feel he's my soulmate, but he's belong to someone else..of the pain n ache seeing him with that person. of feeling totally complete whenever i'm with him...and d pain when sleeping alone in bed n wish he's there for me..yet he's in someone's bed who he belong to..
Be strong, you are who you are and don't need to change for the sake of pleasing others. True friends or lovers accepts just the way you are like as in family accepts the shortcomings of their own family members. This is called love. It should neither hurt nor cause envy.. :)
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