Thursday, November 25, 2010


I am rather sure that I am living in a moment right now. Not doing any thinking, not conversing, just eating, shopping, spending. Like how I used to when I was back home. As you all know my parents are not keen on me staying here (they didn't say it, and they seem rather "supportive" to whatever I want to do, but I know better, they just don't want us to be away from them).

And then I see pictures. Pictures of my family, altogether. And some pictures that I was tagged in Facebook, with a little gap in the middle, that they pretend is me actually being with them during the trip. And then I watched HP7. When Hermione cast a charm, "Obliviate" to erase memories of people. Seems so weird, but it is as if I'm erased from this family. I know I am not but it felt like it. As much as I love my family, there is still this unfulfilled gap that I can never seem to trace it, or fill it. Unsure what it is, but really, do you know how it felt like when everyone is posting happy pictures of whatever things that they're doing and you're behind the screen seeing the pictures, without you? Over and over again? You think it's fun?

Maybe it's just one too many times.

Or maybe I chose to do this.