Friday, November 18, 2011


Some pictures from not so recently I took. (if you noticed they are the contestants in MCM but yeah just to let you all know we do have lives HAHA)


If you recognized the last picture it was the day I was eliminated huhu

After all this time, I'm looking for a sign, a sign to tell me that it's time for me to start fresh, and I think it's here already. :) Things are slowly falling in place and let's just say I'm content and very happy with what it is. And the only thing I need from you is support.

Looking back, I had fun, I had tears, I had some major fan craze going on (seriously I still need to get used to people asking if I'm from MCM and answered with a coy "yes") and I'm very VERY happy that eventhough I'm out so early in the competition I still get people liking my page (if you haven't already, LIKE IT !) and people sending the nicest messages to me. :)

BUT, I need to learn to accept the fact that if it's over, it's over. Wen was telling me, all these is past and you need to move onto something new. My parents talked to me about what I wanna do in the future, and they are more than supportive (which I loveeeeee them for) and no matter which way I wanna swing (culinary or the corporate world) I sort of have a plan for. :) Time will tell.

Talking about acceptance, I too have accepted the fact that I love food and that I need food to fuel myself, I'm not giving up on diet, but all these I wanna be 50kgs and skinny is bullshit. I'm happy with how I look now and I'm on my way there. My thighs may not have the biggest gap but my quads are thick as hell but you know what? At least I work on them and I'm proud. My arms may not be the skinny thin type but you know what?? I'm getting some guns growing and I'm proud. We need to learn to accept how we are, we are all born differently. I see the smallest sized girls all around, do I wish to be like them? Yes I sure do, but the thing is, I am not them, I am me.

My goal?? Is to feel comfortable with myself, and I am happy with how I am now (ok except for my face it's so big T_T And there's not really a workout to slim the face wtf I can't be using my nose to lift weights wtf!). From time to time I get comments from my mom saying I gained weight etc but you know what? I'm not affected, because I am happy with where I am now. I'm eating a lot cleaner lately and despite my love for cooking, I cook really shitty food for myself, but I enjoy them. Canned tuna in water (drained) with avocado is my favourite!! I look forward to every single clean meals I have! :D The last time I had Mcdonald's was 1.5 months ago (omg that WAS a long time ago). I do have my occasional slip-offs but please, some times a scoop of ice-cream won't make you gain 5 pounds, as long as you get back on track. :)

Here's some pictures of myself because I'm feeling PRETTY!!! After attending the Islamic Fashion Festival (Zery was showcasing few pieces from his collection! Updates bout that later. :D )

ps: I think I look better with my fringe up? I dunno cause everytime I try to put down my fringe I look... funny HEH!

Each day you're born a new person. Live each moment, if you want to be happy, be.


Karmun said...

I found this post exceptionally empowering. Every girl should read, digest and live your words on acccepting themselves as who they are. Like you, I struggled with my weight too and it took me five long years before i realised that im never going to look like miranda kerr. Thank you for this little reminder on how we're all beautiful in our own little ways :) Plus, muscles are totally the in thing now! ;)

Anonymous said...

В целом, написавший зачетно опубликовал!