Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Somewhere we lost that soul

Just a very happy looking me with a bunch of pretty balloons and some confetti tassels I made for a dear friend's birthday. :)

I think somewhere I've lost that urge to share everything about my life with others. I guess it's call growing out of it. We have to grow somewhere somehow some time. People say this space has a lot less pictures of myself and maybe that's me. I prefer taking pictures of things and moments. Not just ME in that moment, but moments. It may be something small but significant or maybe something I thought that's cool.

I'd much prefer if this space is filled with things that I love to do and that I willingly post it rather than I have to oblige to others to post JUST BECAUSE I have to post. No I don't do that. It's just not me. I want to rant, I rant. I want to talk about betrayal, I'll write about that. I want to talk about me not having any voice, I talk about it here. It make me seem more vocal (because I can't talk at all! 4 days yo!).

I don't want to close this space because I know there will still be things to talk about, moments to be shared, but really, I'd rather have one very loyal reader than hundreds of people I don't know of to know my story, and judge me. This whole blogging thing is a facade, give it another 5-10 years you'll see people stop writing about themselves, there will be new ways of finding fame and ways to let out. You may see crazy people preaching about their own lives on the streets rather than on the internet. Maybe maybe maybe. Who knows? I started this space in 2005 and I've shared so much of my life with others. it's funny how people actually knows about your life and everything that's happening rather than your own friends. Strangers we're talking about here. You know how freaky that is?? You get weird stared from the streets not knowing who they are and they might secretly read you blog. I find it rather intimidating that sometimes people actually questions about the things you do JUST BECAUSE you blogged about it. What I share here, is not 100% reflective of what my life is all about. This too, shows that my blog does not represent how awesome of a person I can be.

I like how things are now. I write when I want to. I don't have the obligation to update it on a daily basis, Those who are interested will leave a comment or two and those who are shy will just keep quiet.

it was nice while it lasted. I'm not sure when will the next update be, but till then. Have an awesome day. :)


YiNKy said...

ur 1 loyal reader is probably me. from the beginning till now. lol. when i closed my blog, i stopped reading other blogs cept ur's and some popular 1s. seeeeeee. i'm like ur biggest fan. :p

erv said...

oh hellooo!!! how can you forget your reader here. been loyal since i was 18 til now. u took away my youth :)))

good luck in job hunting, everything. u had your 1 year break, now it's time for me to do some seoul searching too. :P pun intended!

lots of love

Anonymous said...

you look pretty in the dress :D
where did u get it?


mustardqueen said...

yin: Like hello!? If u dont read my blog how u catch up with me wtf. Seeee at least I know ur still coming back for more WTF!!! *love*

erv: ERVVVVVVV Of course la... eh don't la say till I took away your youth, you're always youthful! :P Well, there is always not enough time for Seoul searching *ahem ahem* but pleaseeeeeee when you go take loads of pics and like upload them? LOL! LOVE YOU TOO!!! I wanna go back to Seoul too! :(

anon: Thank you! Got it from Miss Selfrige bout 1.5 years back. WAS ON SALE and it has crotchet back , LAFF IT!! :D

Xen Lee ♥ said...

love your writing, its very truthful and like you said your posts show merely a small part of who you are; but most people will be quick to judge. pay no attention to those, only you know what is really going on in your life.

people stare at you cause youre a beautiful, tall girl with a gorgeous smile which lights up a room (: looking forward to your next post no matter how long it takes! :D


mustardqueen said...

xen: OH XENNNNNN thank u so much for this sweet comment. If only people knows how the world actually works like you do, there will be a lot less hatred on the Internet and even the real world. HAHA! :P They judge too quickly and hence they don't understand nor know the real me. :) And if there's an update on this space, I'll be sure you'll be one of the first few to know. THank you so much love!!! :)