Shred?? What shred. I stopped at Day 5. I feel like I'm dying everyday. I mean I'm eating cleaner but my body, I don't know. I'll continue when I feel like it, but at the mean time I'm still doing weights etc. Like really, I don't know what this body wants, when will I ever, EVER get rid of my food baby, or at least half of it. It's like I'll never get a "miscarriage" for my food baby.
Was dead tired yesterday, but I had this fruitful day of video editing, super yummy dinner with the parents and baking. I love baking. All the crazy prep, fiddling with my pink kitchen scale and oh, butter. The heavenly smell of butter, vanilla and cinnamon. I'd create a scent of this when I'm able to. It'll be named heaven. I can spend hours in the kitchen without a single word of complain, I love this place. Other than the gym, I can't think of any other place that I can find "solace" in. It's calming yet chaotic, such contradiction, just like me.
breakfast. breakfast. breakfast. outfit. I'm more excited about the progress of my delts rather than my outfit. I'm getting these strong arms that, I learn to love more and more. Day by day I see it jiggle less, I believe one day it'll become this strong and lean limb, a part of me. Wishful thinking and hard work. :D I did deadrows of 25kg the other day, same as some muscle men at the gym #proud.
And don't you hate it when someone just occupies the machine/rack for the longest time? When I stare at you it wasn't cause you're hot or that I'm fascinated, simply because I'm eying on the rack cause I wanna do some squats yo. Like dude you've been squatting for the past 15 minutes and there are other people who wanna use the rack too yea? I know some times I'm like this but MAXIMUM time I'll occupy a machine is 5 minutes. Cause I only do 3 sets, circuit style.
It's this big fat frustration that, I don't know when will REAL results come, I always keep telling myself that i'll get there I WILL GET THERE. BUT WHEN!???? How many squats will I have to do to get that bubble butt, and how many million crunches do I have to do?? How many days more of boiled chicken and veggies to a leaner body? I really shouldn't be so hard on myself, I do slack off some days and have a slice of cake, I really don't know when I can eat "normally" again. Define normal. Like eating mcdonald's when I have nothing to eat? Or like, eat 2 bowls of rice without batting an eyelash? Or having chicken and veggies? I don't know what normal is anymore. But it does feel good to not eat fast food for a long period. Is that normal? Am I crazy? I don't know anymore.
Can someone enlighten me?