Fashion Rehab

BECAUSE THE HOE SISTERS NEED A FASHION REHAB!!! Join us this coming 5th June at Stellar Studio at Empire Shopping Gallery Subang, from 12pm to 7pm for some fashion loving (And drop by to say hi!)!



You know who am I most excited to meet?? Ami!! Who's now fighting harder than Xena the warrior princess! She'll be joining us on the 5th of June too! ;) And and Hana Tajima *girlcrush* been following her for quite long and she's apparently now based in KL (any clue ar cause I'm a bit outdated lately haha). :) And other fashionistas like Mas Angelina, Yanny, Shea, Bono Stellar and my sister :) Join the fun, the more the merrier.



Friendly eco reminder: Bring your own shopping bag (so you can stuff more goodies inside ;D)

Love and Happiness

I remember the last time I went to Bangkok, I prayed that I'll find love and happiness (well, love in any way). And I did. Not in the BGR part, but more on, I found how love comes in many different forms, from the smallest thoughts to finding its way to you. Small things like how my mom froze mega dumpling from the dumpling festival for me till I return from Melbourne to eat it (Cause they only sell the mega dumplings once a year, it's rare) to my whole family coming for my graduation, to how when I was at my all time low, I was picked up by my family and friends around.

Things like this make me wonder, how much more things do I need to make me feel more complete?

Another year has gone by, what have I achieved?? I thank god and people around me for giving me the courage to sign up for what I've already done (Masterchef, losing weight etc). To have the courage to take the first step has completely changed my point of view in life. Not something that can be taken easily, it requires a lot of effort and hardship to achieve where I am right now. For all I know there WILL be people who can't be bothered with all these "achievements" that I've got, but I'm glad everything happened. It happened for a reason, and like i've always said, this is only the beginning. :)

Protein

Can you believe that I had not 1, not 2 but 6 egg whites yesterday?


I'm on this high protein, try to cut down on carbs thing now. Trying it out to see if it works (need to burn more fats ya see, and well build more lean muscles). And having more protein will help in building the lean muscles cause well, basically muscles are tissues, and to build tissues you'll need protein!! Loads of it. And because your body burns sugar (aka carbs) first then protein then only fats in order to produce energy for daily activities, it is only logical to cut down on the most useless component - Carbs.

Not completely completely cut out, but some stuff like oats, cereal I still take la (since there's still leftovers why waste right?)


So I'll be starting on weights training (aside from my usual group classes and cardio) cause it did help me build some muscles (Back muscles ya'll, I can finally see a little bit of my shoulder blades, and the line of my spine!) And I did like... More than 200 squats (miscalculation on my twitter hahaha math fail!) with dumbells and the ball thing you swing here there wtf. (Oh it's call kettlebell wtf) and my thighs are so huge now =(((((( Must not build too much muscles on thighs I don't wanna have elephant leg (like someone wtf hahahaha damn bad)


So like yah... Veggies, fruits, meats. I did cheat a little this afternoon when we went to this awesome restaurant at Sentul where I had fries chicken wing (just one drummet) and curry fish head (well I didn't drink the gravy I only had fish and veggies) and fries prawns. It's still protein right!? With like 1tbs of rice. NGEH. And I'm full like hell now.


What else? Erm... Having lots of egg whites has taught me to actually say sorry to the yolks when I dispose of them. A bit crazy but it's still putting food to waste =( I think I need to find pasteurized egg whites, anyone knows if Cold Storage has them? I'm kinda sick of removing yolks from the whites (but then can train for masterchef why not!?).


I'm still having a bit of sleeping problems. =/ Not sure if it's cause there were lightning flashing the entire night (signs of rapture?) and that I am still stressed over the competition or god knows why. I slept at 10.30 cause I was dead tired from 3 hours of sleep from previous night, and crazy session at gym (for me at least) and I was dozing off while playing Bejewelled. This has got to stop really, it's been what? 5 days already hurhur.


And I guess my diet plan wasn't working so well previously cause my body got used to it??? Really, I need to mix around the routines a little. I think I should pick up swimming again! :D

Corndog

First bloom of cherry blossoms in Seoul. It was the 11th April. :) Especially the park located right next to Lotte World!! It was crazy beautiful. Made our day so much nicer, warm sun browning our skin, corndogs that cost less than a Churro (one churro is like RM12 -_- whereas the Corn dog only RM5 and so much more filling). Interesting fact, their corndog is actually call something Galbi, where the hot dog is wrapped with fries and deep fried... Mmmmmmm...

Crazy rides that got our adrenaline pumping till we get to the train, got lost a little and manage to get on the right track to get back to the hotel. Was entertained by this delicious "Deli Manjoo", which is actually corn cakes. Available at most subway stations. Just follow the smell of sweet corn custard smell and you'll find a store which sells walnut manjoo, waffles and these lovely deli manjoo. Not sure what it's called in hangeul but it's so good!!!!! :D We bought like a bag of 17 of these everytime for ₩3000, worth every penny :D



Imagine piping hot custard oozing out once you bite into these cute little corn cakes.. YUM.

Stress

Stress is when SKII doesn't work on your skin (at least for just today) cause I haven't been sleeping much, too much thoughts and worrying about the auditions. It went pretty well, there were some times that I was a little messed up/kelam-kabut (HA BM lololololl) but all is good now. Really appreciate how the production crew were so, I dunno, nice and attentive to all our needs. Kudos all of ya'll (if you are reading haha).


I am crossing my fingers that I will be able to make it, I don't want this. I need this. I'd be lying if I say it's not for the money and prize of writing a cookbook, and it is also a way to show people that what I am capable of. And it is not for anyone, but for myself, a breakthrough.

I can already see changes in my life, people around me and most importantly changes in myself. I'd leave that to fate and let life decide on my destiny.


Here's a quote from me because I have been feeling so psyched about life as of late.

"Always look forward to life because you won't know what surprises life will bring you."



And because of that, I'm becoming the change I want to be. It may or may not turn out how I've wanted it to be, but hey, life goes on and it's too short to wait for it to happen.


If you want changes, be THE change.


Signing off

A very tired queen with pimples and dark circles =(

Masterchef Auditions! :D

UPDATE: Gonna head to KDU for the 2nd round of auditions!! :) WISH ME LUCK AND ALL THE BEST I NEED THEM ALLL!!!!! :D Cross your fingers toes bones and heart. :) Love ya'll! :D


About 6 hours before I have to wakeup on Saturday morning, I had this epiphany again so I decided to change my dish. Instead of the initial sweet one I was gonna make, I decided to go with this recipe that I once tried at this restaurant with my family. So I set my alarm at 8a.m to hit Tesco to get some fresh ingredients to prepare.

Scheduled time for auditions: 2pm.

By the time I got home it was 10am, with a bag load of ingredients. I was trying to make this garlic mayo prawn on prawn cracker. So I laid out the crackers to dehydrate under the sun for a while, and while preparing for the side, I heard the engine started. SHIT, my mom is leaving the house. I left my crackers on the back of her car to suntan. -_- I quickly ran out to save my tanning crackers.


*phew*

I did had some of the ingredients prepared beforehand because I thought I was going with the first dish I had in mind. Ice cream, I made the caramel the night before, tastes awesome. But the only thing I was worried about that, by the time I serve my dish, it won't be fresh and crispy anymore. Dilemmas of an amateur cook.

By the time I was done with the savoury dish, it was around 11.30. I got ready, put on makeup and I was like "fuck it, I think I should just go with the sweet dish". I ran down, and started preparing the skin and all and by the time I finished it was around 12.30. Changed.


By the time I got there, there weren't many people in the waiting room to prep, heat and plate up. I prolly waited less than 10 minutes and off I go to prepare my dish. And also to prepare my mind. What if I don't make it, will I cry?? Will I be able to face rejection? What is it going to be like!? Uncertainties liea ahead, every second of it.


I was nervous like I was gonna shit in my panties (red underwear ya'll haha superstitious lol)


And one of the crew members ran to me "IS THAT ICE CREAM?" He asked. I nodded. He frantically prompted another crew and they said I was the first applicant who had needed to use the freezer/chiller. Oh wow that's a first. And yah the crew who helped me with the ice cream was cute *melt* no pun intended wtf wtf

And off I go to the waiting area, fan was spinning like a hurricane, dishes were lined up on the tables, nervous faces, sweaty palms, suspicious looks from other contestants. My dish was half plated cause the ice cream was in the freezer -.- People looked at it and asked what's that, giving that aww ur not gonna get it look cause it was so simple. =/ Some of the comments here. It was weird cause I don't know if the people who were waiting with me made it to the next round.


And then it was almost my turn. The crew came with my ice cream (my heart melted more la wtf) and I topped a little caramel sauce and try to make it look more presentable. Hands shaking, I had this vision that I dropped the plate and that's it. BYE OPPORTUNITY.

Back to reality, the door opened. 5 chairs lined in front of 3 judges consisting 2 local chefs and 1 lady producer. So we were asked to introduce ourselves and how the dish was prepared (whether it's all made from scratch etc) and they told me "your ice cream, must be made from scratch". I panicked.


Funny thing was, when we were all seated down. The lady suddenly turned to the guy seated 2 seats away from me "HEY, weren't you at the KK and JB auditions?" hahahahahahaahahahahahaahahaha


I bet that was his strategy to get into the competition yea? But he didn't make it to the 2nd round cause his sauce tasted odd with the nuts (wasn't too sure about the dish) and the guy sat next to me made steam fish with lime sauce which smelled heavenly.


Verdict?

"Do you think you can find a replacement for your ice cream? Because it is impossible to make ice cream in the cookoff later on, in an hour's time"
I replied "Yes, I will find a replacement"

Wasn't sure what I was going to do with the ice cream problem, I have to come up with something, but then again, there's the 2nd panel to face. THE Interview.


And they said "Yes" to my dish. Happy as ever, after the waiting and waiting and waiting. I was escorted to the other waiting area for the 2nd panel. Interview time!!! And the interview is basically about knowing about yourself, how are you going to face challenges and why do you want this.


Want to know what happened in there? Stay tuned.



Wish me alllllllll the best you can for my 2nd auditions tomorrow noon!!!! Cook-off time and I hope I'll be able to make everything under 1 hour. :)

My official Masterchef photo on their facebook page. :)

dress: Azorias (coming soon!!)
courage: from within and all the support I get from all the people I love and those who love me. :)

:)

This is the start of the journey. This is the start of a whole new beginning. This is the start of my life, and it will only flourish into bigger things, better beginnings. :) Bring on the challenges, I can't wait till Monday.


Even if I didn't make it, at least I tried. Failing is the only proof that you're trying.


Details later... Quite dramatic ;)

ps: to those twitter followers, the phone call I was so excited about was the call for auditions! Can you imagine how happy I was? :D Still quite unreal though after all the whirlwind that has happened this afternoon, and now my tummy feels like death after a lot of ab and legs workout.


Strive, HARDER.

Travelling Pants

You know what I relate to when I see the word Travelling Pants? Sisterhood.


If there is one thing that I cannot live without, family. Through all these years (though my dad busy working and some of us are all over) we've grown so much together, through thick and thin, highs and lows. There is only one place you can turn to, home!


And when my sister told me about some grand plans she was working on with her partners, I have nothing but respect and support for her, till the end. I'd also love to thank her for supporting some of my financials wtf cause I've been helping out a little here and there hehehehehe. And hence the birth of Azorias. You see, ever since I've graduated I don't have a job, but I have dreams. Dreams I'd love to achieve if I can. And seeing someone so close to me to achieve something so major in their lives, is something so respectable and worthy of me to follow their footsteps. *heart* I wish some day I could be like my sister or maybe collaborate or something la, and really work towards my goal!! :D


So please my dear readers, like Azorias' facebook page here, to show some support and love, ALSO to get more peek-a-boo hint hint mini updates on what's you'll be expecting. :) And answer is, you won't be disappointed! ;)


And the worst thing is, so hard to keep secrets from people and wen is so strict with anything that's related to Azorias hahaha So now a huge burden off all our chests (and hopefully I get to burn more fats WTF)

Clean

So....


I am here to rant again. I really think it's the hormones man. This shit ain't real okay I've been I dunno feeling so crazy lately. I just giggled to myself while playing Bejewelled HA!!


So...

I need to start eating clean. Meaning no sugar (oh the horror) no junk food (already doing it) no fast food (haven't had them for ages except for last night I had some KFC mash potatoes cause I need change for parking -.-) no binging (tskkk) no desserts (means no sweets meh) no carbs (gulp)


Now I need to stock up on egg whites (anyone knows if KL sells packed egg whites in a carton? if not I'll have to throw away all egg yolks which is pretty wasteful) cause it's sucha good source of protein! Lots of chicken and fish (salmon mmm and tuna mmm). Mommy I need to go market please.


See what I mean when I say I hate changes?? I've got 2 huge packs of whatever soybean paste miso thingy for soup and I have only used it ONCE, and now that if I wanna change this whole diet thing, everything has to be going into the bin! =( And my baking cupboard shall be ignored for a bit =(((


And I've read up a lot on this HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) and all of the people who're doing it said it works (thank you for the lovely email you know who you are *heart*). So basically warm up, then run like mad woman for short interval and slow down then run again for about 9-15 minutes. I saw this guy at the gym doing it, it was MAD intense I was fearing he'll fall off the treadmill, and he was running at 15mph or some crazy speed. So yes... Gonna try that out, and prolly try out yoga since I need a GOOD stretch after all those running and hopping around.


Wokeup feeling pretty happy today. Tummy is slightly flatter (no bloating yeay) even I had them mash potatoes after gym (I need to compensate the energy I used after crazy sessions k).


Things I need to work on:

- improve my balance (hahahaha I didn't know to keep yourself balance you need to engage your core, I've been just balancing with my feet and bouncing here there to stay put wtf)
- work those muscles (side planks anyone??)
- control
- control
- control
- less sugar for now, and will try to cut down bit by bit (natural sugar from fruits is okay)
- less carbs (haven't had a full bowl of rice for damn long, but bihun, yes (laksa wtf))
- more protein (hello chicken breast haven't had you for a while, salmon you too!)
- always keep myself hydrated!! Apparently I haven't been drinking enough water, but then again I think it's cause I didn't drink much water THAT day when I had tests done? I drink like 2-3 bottles just during gym leh
- work those abs (I'm starting to see slight definition already, more crunchesssss)
- load up on fruits



On a side note, about time I need to fix my hair. Black roots growing ya'll I'm so attractive now hahahaha, WHAT COLOUR!? I was thinking a purple base brown, or like just soft brown... Suggestions?

So light me up like a cigarette

REMEMBER THESE SUPERMAN MATCHES!!???

Not sure about you but I love it when I brush the match against the box and then you get fayahhhh (friction ma haha) And they are PINK this time round. I hate it when I get those with the brown red tips eew so ugly. And you asking why matches? Cause I have this awesome smelling candle in my room that I need matches to light it! :D And it comes so handy when there was power shortage in my area the other night (crazy storm) and my candle sorta saved my families' lives by providing light.

All hail Thomas Edison for his great invention. I think he's secretly god in disguise and went like "Let there be LIGHT!" And he invented light.

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I'm a little confused. Don't you hate it when things are going on track (or so you think) and then something just strike you and it turns out that nothing was ever okay? =/


Back to the diet talk. As you all can see I'm super frustrated cause my body fat% went up! The last I check I was 23.6% (about 2 months back at around 71kgs) and yesterday it went up to 29% (at 68kgs) something is obviously not right!!!


What is happening is it the food I'm taking in? It's not that I'm eating a lot of fatty food (cept for when nancy was here, and my curry laksa craze these days =/). This shows so clearly that health is not all about weight!!! I'm apparently 3-4 kgs away from my "ideal weight" which is 64-65 BUT I wanna be 60. But what guarantees that at 60 I'll be healthy?? But deep inside my body fat% is like what 50 wtf. (A normal healthy woman has like 24% body fat, lower the better of course)


This calls for yet another change!! Not sure what I'm going to do or what I can do... Prolly a low carb diet?? I've heard that this Paleo thing is pretty helpful but when I read the rules of it, it's pretty much like Atkins with veggie and maybe more carbs, and lots of good fats.


Now now... If only I can rid myself off desserts. The horror.


See what I mean when I say I'm confused??? Trainer says I should do more weights to build up muscles, what about running!!??? I thought running was suppose to help me lose overall body fat and my legs will be more muscular?


ROAR time to get pumped up and do more weights!!! New inspiration, Keri Hilson! She looks FABBBBBB in her Pretty Girl Rock video! lovelovelove!!

TMI!

I made some awesome raspberry mousse tarts yesterday and it is now finished... All in my tummeh and not feeling a tad guilt at all!! I've been binging like mad lately and I just HOPE it's the hormones =/ But god the suble crust is so so goooooodddd I have leftover mousse shall make more tomorrow HEHEHEHEHE

I think I've mentioned all of these in my twitter account (if you haven't already know, follow me here! It's locked so people who exclusively join can know what's happening thought sometimes I overtweet lalalala)

So I went for this erm personal training sesh and god... I was so devastated. I'm disappointed in myself, I'm becoming another one of those, oh she looks fine but inside all fats kinda person. Lesson learnt, NEVER eat a bowl of curry laksa before going for any weigh-ins wtf. I just had laksa for dinner and tons of mousse in my stomach before the session *shifty eyes* Guess what? My body fat % if 29.6%. Almost 30%. Oh my fucking god la kill me.


So now focus pocus... I need to do more weights with combination of cardio, just so I can gain more muscles (apparently my muscle mass is fine now, just the body fat shittttttt) and I think I need to OD on xenical to reduce fat intake mehhhh.


But small wins for today: 1 min 14s of plank and 30 pushups in 1 minute. Could have done better!! Shall PUSH PUSH PUSH myself.


Here's a picture of the raspberry tart I attempted to make but of course it didn't turn out so pretty haha(picture adapted from tartelette.com):

Did I also mention I tried making macarons with the raspberry mousse too? It was a tad to crunchy at first but after leaving it in the fridge for 2 hours or so, the moisture from the cream sorta softens the texture and became quite nice!! All almond-y and crumbly in my mouth. Too sweet though, need to come up with some reduced sugar recipes but then the macaron won't be nice meh. But boy those tart taste so good I can just eat it on its OWN! :D

And random tmi moment: I am lactose intolerant fts, it happens everytime after I have heavy cream (be it in small or large amounts) there will be flatulence wtf and diarrhea. Confirm. And cause I had so much mousse (and not even a lot leh I used like 1 cup of cream for prolly 2-3 cups of mousse mixture) I spent a lot of lovely time in the toilet. But I like how the mousse turn out to be quite light, and the raspberry taste is kinda nice too (I used diabetic jam ha!) nom


Back to life, I'm hungry.

Food for thought

I find it really hard for me to fake a smile today. So I'm not going to try.

I woke up at 6am (again seriously I need to start sleeping at 9 now?) and just couldn't fall back asleep; I was craving for chocolate chip cookies. Awfully sweet chocolate chip cookies that I once baked back in Melbourne (cause I followed the full recipe so it tasted awesome). My plan was to make a sable crust for this awesome raspberry mousse tart, and while waiting for it to set I'll make cookies, cause it only takes max an hour. I skipped. I had a pancake with honey, peanut butter and cinnamon sprinkles. So good, yet less than 100 calories yeay.


I hate how blogger is kinda screwed up right now, all of the comments for my carrot cake post are gone, and they are not recovering it, and I think they're trying to let it slide cause I'll write new posts and eventually forget about it? No, I'm waiting for them to recover cause I know I still have comments that I've yet to reply! I love reading comments especially those that find me inspiring and all, I want to thank them, one by one.


I often find it VERY contradicting that, I always write such inspiring words in the replies to comments, but I find it so hard to actually execute it. But what I can say is, YOU are the only thing that is stopping yourself. If you think you can't do it, you can't. If you think you're lazy, yes you are, you are very lazy, in fact that you're reading this. If you think you can run longer and faster, don't stop, run! (I outran by another minute, happy!). And I'm thinking maybe I should join a marathon, start training for it, sounds fun no?

Bought a pair of overpriced shoes, comfy, great support since I'll be doing lots of jumping and kicking and running. I often overlooked that some things are so much worthy of investing in (lol bags!) that you use it everyday, but yet I don't see myself paying the money for it. For example, a pot. HAHA that will always be my perfect example. I'm going to invest in a quality sauce pan/pot, enough for me to do my cooking. That should be the gift to myself for my 10kg mark hehehehe


And then there are people who asked me for advices on what they should do, really... I can't give you an exact plan of what you can do. Whatever works best for you, then go for it. If starving works best for you, go ahead, but I'm not going to be held responsible for your hair loss of maybe later on death. It doesn't work that way. There is always two paths to take, one is easy; and it's only reward is that it's easy. And who said starving yourself is easy?? The cravings, the hunger? Really? It's just damn hard.


And on to myself. I have always been having issues with my self esteem and no, it is still here. Never good enough, never pretty enough, never thin enough (but tall enough haha), just never perfect. No one is perfect I tell myself that. Imperfect is spelled with I-M-PERFECT. Things like that to psycho myself into thinking I'm normal. At times I feel fabulous, strutting my pretty clothes and shoes along the streets and when I feel that I'm being looked at, I feel conscious, a tad too self conscious of getting stares, and I feel awkward. And I'll start questioning myself again. See, self esteem issues. And because of all these shit I felt, I feel I'll never be good enough, and I work harder. But for how long more? I can't tell, no one can tell me how long more I have endure these shitty moments. And I'll feel the urge to give up... I will start thinking that, oh I think I look fine, people say I look fine (but the scales and measurements not so heh). But no.......... I want moreeeee I want to achieve more, for myself, not for you, but for me!!!! And then I look back at how far I've came along when I look back at the pictures of my my 16th birthday (when I was mocked and shit by this bastard classmate of mine, I'll never forget you)

And to those who've been telling me that they cannot resist food but they want to lose weight, all I can say is, Start NOW. It only takes 21 days to turn something into a habit. 21 days. Just think of it this way, 3 Mondays, 3 Tuesdays, 3 Wednesdays and so on. You can make it happen.

And yes, I get all these inspiring quotes and words from tumblr. I'm no saint.

You're just too sweet till you get on my nerves and hurt like cavity

The weekend came too quickly and went by!!! Here is to another weekend to look forward to but I have lots of preparation to do!!! More on that later, but I'd say it's something realllllly exciting for me and I am so so so happy I did it!!! :) I was shrieking after I hung up the phone (well, you can perceive whatever you like but I ain't telling ;P )

Nancy came over for the weekend and all I can say is.... BINGE!!!! Thank goodness for the exercise I did before she came so my metabolism didn't really drop wtf and was metabolising all those shit I had during the weekend. Bak Kut Teh, awesome seafood and fried chicken, Roti tissue, fat chocolate (nommmm, must try at fat spoon it's damn good :D) fried banana... AND MORE *guilty*


Nancy came up with this brilliant plan to... Climb Batu Caves.... -.-The last time I went there was... I think 5 years ago and I did climb 272 steps in total. 136 up (half way) and scared shitless and came back down wtf!!! I braved my phobia and climbed all 272 steps to the top and deep into the caves with bat poo and unknown source of water droplets and came back down in one piece hahaha, all icky and sweaty! I could feel the burnnnn in my thighs while climbing up, seriously I think I need to do that more often haaha!!!








And super touristy shot of me and Nancy!!

twin towers looking like a fake backdrop hahahaha

GOOD TIMES!!!! Le sigh, so much for planning this that this that, and the weekend just went pass like THAT! *clicks fingers* Heckle mustard will miss you nong time! See you soon okay!!! :)


Now, back to the gym...

Cupcake!

Met up with Janice after not seeing her for the past 6 months!!!! Shared some thoughts, had some pizza and fish and chips. You know what is best about not seeing someone after a long long time?? Is that you share a lot more stories after ehehehehe. At first I thought there will be awkward moments but, nope!! Lycheetini made us happy happy!!


And Janice brought her cousin along, she was all fun but too bad she can't speak much english (they're Koreans!) but with my limited Korean like annyong and just random small words derived from chinese, we manage to communicate a little hahahaha her expression when she was talking about how stressed high school life is in Korea is just damn funny!!!! "Study, 4 hours, lunch, study 5 hours, dinner, go home, sleep! High school students very fat!" hahahahahahaha

My pretty korean babesss!!! hhahahahha I find it damn funny cause I think I've gained some weight since these pictures were taken... I feel offended wtf! But I keep telling myself it's the muscle mass that I'm gaining >.>

Did I mention cupcakes at Bisou is awesome? I had the vanilla cupcake with blueberry jam and cream cheese frosting. Crazy yummy!!! :D

And I was out binging like a mad woman last night, it never felt better. :) Turns out, I think that I'll be able to eat normal after the whole diet thing ends :D

Inner peace

SICK OF MY DIET POSTS YET!!??? I'm fucking sick of it already AHAHAHAHA there's only so much motivation one can receive and give, and most importantly is yourself. The only thing standing in your way is YOURSELF. I can't help you unless YOU give in and do it. I am no fairy godmother!

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Random pictures of one of my last days in Melbourne. A place I hold so so closely to my heart. Till this day, this minute, this second, it still beats for Melbourne. I was running through some pictures while picking which to upload, I realise 80% of the pictures are food pictures! haha

It's a place I found true friendship, a place I found solace, a place I found myself.


Probably the 2 years of living there is sort of a "finding myself" moment (while struggling with homework and shit). I've changed so so much since then, lost so much, gained much more.

A place where having coffee alone won't be seen as weird, a place where young punks think they are they best just cause they have blonde hair and blue eyes. A place where ABCs are so frigging hot you just wanna do whatever notty things you can think about LOL. I miss my life back in Melbourne. But I find that, there are so so much more things that I can do when I'm back in Malaysia. Hence the decision to come back.

On a happier note my ex... wait for it.. HOUSEMATE is visiting me for the weekends!!! :D HAPPY TIMES!!!! God, Nancy made my life in Melbourne so much more bearable and times like these you cannot thank someone enough but to sacrifice your diet and EAT with her hehehehehe We're talking about chocolate coated strawberries, nasi lemak, and whatever that KL's famous for!

^_^

Lemon Zest

You guys are truly amazing!!! I can only thank you all so much, words can not describe the joy I'm experiencing, but I appreciate every single comment that you took the effort to write to me. Thank you!!!!! The compliments, the advices, the encouragements, meant a lot to me, at this sorta hard time (that I'm enjoying every moment of it haha) I'm going through right now! This gave me even more motivation and courage and work even harder towards my goal. :)

You set a goal, you achieve it. Simple as that, finish what you started. =D

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I read a comment from my previous post on my carrot ring and hahahahaha I LOL-ed!!!!

"my bf pointed out that you have a ONE CARROT (CARAT) ring :P hahahaha"

CARROT CAKE!!! I have been craving for cakes for the longest time and so I decided to make one myself!! Complete with frosting and two thick layers of cinnamon carrot goodness. Mmmmmmmmmm.... I halved the recipe I got here and tweak it a little here and there. I added 100 grams less sugar (Oh lord) and it tasted even better!!! I wonder how it'll taste like if I used the full recipe =/

Fact: Did you know that adding cinnamon will sorta reduce your cravings? I dunno what they have inside but I read it somewhere saying that if you have like slices of apples and add a dash of cinnamon powder, you'll crave less. yeay.

ps: I still need to work on frosting a cake. But that's just cause I was super kiam with my cream cheese, damn exp in KL ok! And I added a lot less butter and icing sugar into my frosting, instead I added more lemon juice, and top it off with some lemon zest. Best thing ever since, lemon curd hehehe :P

MOTIVAYSHUNNN

So last night my mom crashed into my room announcing that she tapau-ed jengjeng... Yee Mee. And itunes was playing "freak out" by Le Chic. She grooved to it.

If you know me, I have loved yee mee since... forever. I make my yukgaejjang with yeemee inside. I eat claypot yee mee, braised yee mee, yeemee is first choice. Sometimes bihun.

And I rejected it. I haven't had yee mee since... January or so, because... I found out that one yee mee (1 serve) has about 550 calories. That is just plain yeemee alone and when you add sauce, oil, sugar, sodium, meat, you get 1000 calories. Which is approximately my daily intake. THE HORROR.

So my mom said "oh so you're going on the calories basis eh?" "Sorta" i said.


I mean I don't go purely on the calories basis, but if things are really high in calories and is just crazy high in fats and carbs like french fries I'll try to avoid or just avoid at all cause (Story for another day, my carrot cake).

And I have been feeling that my efforts are doubted (except for my family!! LOVE YOU ALLLLL especially wen she keep saying i'm so thin i'm so thin *jiggles tummy* you see that hhahahaha). I've been told that you should do this you should do that and seriously, whatever I'm doing now is working fine on me, so do NOT, question my efforts because clearly I'm showing progress and I know it best. :) I don't need your judgmental eyes to be scanning my thighs or my stretch marks. I don't need anyone to tell me how I should be doing things. :)

Small win from yesterday's class: I manage to do side planks without falling hahahaha and I'd say it was a pretty good stretch for the obliques!! :P ALSO, I manage to outrun my usual timing by 4 minutes! Yeay me.

I'm at a mini plateau again, but I guess that's cause I'm gaining muscle weight :D I think it's muscle weight cause my arms are now more muscular (yeay get little tikus haha) and I got armpit muscles wtf I dunno how you call it but I call it armpit muscles la when you flex your arms you can see the dent. And when I was doing speedball I can see it too <3

What else? I found new gym buddies (virtual and real life wtf) and at least I have the motivation to hit the gym hehe. And best motivation is when erm you see hot guys in gym wtf best motivation ever <3

And a picture of something to reward myself. My favo naengmyun :):):) Looks uber disgusting but taste like heaven (to me) with extra tuna chunks :D

bought korean miso paste and added a little. Complete with boiled egg whites, kimchi, gochujang, dash of sesame oil and chunks of tuna.*SLURP*

Quote of the day:

Finish what you started.